Lurker > nikko004

DarthAragorn posted...

What are you using it for?

gaming (esp with listen servers, and running both client and dedicated for multiplayer with friends), sometimes recording while gaming, music production, lots of multitasking

currently running ryzen 5 2600, currently looking at r7 5700x since its got similar TDP and fits AM4, so no need to get new mobo or PSU
im not in dire need of upgrading but prices for this thing look rather enticing ($165)

A) Proceed with her help and take off a year.

Oh well, your soul is a few millenia too old to be having an existential crisis now. You beep accordingly.

The red fairys face lights up. Wait, really? Youll feed me some lifespan? She flies around with glee. Wonderful! Lets start immediately!

She flies to the shiny top of your bald metal head, and pushes her palms down on you. It reminds you of a certain rat chef youve seen in your database.

Her magic flows through your body and your circuitry. You try to move your hands, but you have no control over anything anymore. You feel a lot of discomfort being her puppet.

And yet, the puppetmaster hums nonchalantly. How convenient that mortal blood flows within your vessel! It makes it so easy to pilot your body. She clenches your fist a few times. In factI can feel incredible strength. Is this how you were able to dispose of Warren so easily?

She lets out a sinister laugh. With this power and my controlId be pretty unstoppable, you know? I could flee this place right now and massacre everyone!

Youd sweat a little, but you dont have control nor sweat glands for that.

She smiles deviously and makes your body stand up, facing the back doors. Can you imagine what a feast that would be? Perhaps I should start with your new companions?

Youd scream, but you have no mouth.

Her malice dissipates in an instant. She hangs upside-down and pokes you where your nose would be. Heehee, I jest, of course. As Ive said before, I cant back out of this contract, silly. She sits your body back down. But I enjoyed watching your soul squirm.

You flip her off with your soul. Actually youre not sure how to do that, but youre believing with your whole metaphorical heart for her to go fuck herself.

Aw, Im flattered. She cracks your metallic knuckles. Anyway, lets get this show started, shall we?

The whole vans interior is dyed red. The two blood snakes emerge once more from your body and Millies, wiggling at each other like a dance. They meet and intertwine like before, but this time your own blood overpowers hers. Both your blood and hers get pushed into the wound forcefully. It flows out of you continuously and all gets sucked in like a whirlpool.

The last drop emerges from your body and flies into the wound, and like magic, the wound closes up as if it was never there. The interior returns to the moody lighting of the front-seat lights.

Millies chest rises and falls at a more normal rate, indicating her breathings good again. Much to your relief.

The red fairy slips off your head and slowly floats down to Millies leg, resting and panting.

You regain control of your body and beep at the fairy.

Eh? Blood type? My whole domain is blood, you think I wouldnt account for you mortals and your picky nature about that? Lucky for you, you collected many types of blood in your crusade. She hovers up and towards your chest. Youre welcome, by the way. Now let me recover in peace. With that, she flies back into your soul.

You step out of the van to grab the others. But instead you see Blake and Billie sitting and sleeping on the ground with their backs against the side of the van and their shoulders leaning on each other.

Darcy emerges from the other side of the van and puts his index against his lips, urging you not to wake them. He gestures to carry them back to the van.

With the three of them sleeping peacefully in the back, you and Darcy get back to the front seats and get the van going once again.

During the long drive, you beep a few times with multiple questions.

Darcy glances at you. Sleep? Dont worry about me, lad. My sleep cycles a tad fucked, ysee. Since I solve my cases fast, I usually just sleep in the day. More of a night owl myself.

He faces back to the road. And for where were going, its very much out of the way. I figured we wouldnt be able to visit the citys space station since thats government turf. So youll have to make do with a bloke thats been running totally legal aeronautics experiments off the grid.

You beep with sarcastic glee.



As the sun emerges on the horizon, Darcy parks the van in front of a large, worn-down industrial complex. Various construction equipment and vehicles are bustling around, transporting sheets of metal and other materials. Automated machines and robots can be seen welding and hammering contraptions together.

You and Darcy approach the main building of this complex, where a large garage door blocks your entry. Darcy bangs his fist on it.

A loud buzzer rings out, and the door opens to reveal a man in a tattered three-piece suit. Initially, he looked irritated, but after seeing Darcy, he grins and reaches out for a handshake. Darcy, what a lovely surprise! Are you finally here to accept my offer?

Darcy swats his hand away. Lou, you old bastard. I already told you the amethyst aint for sale.

Lou nurses his hand. Shame. What are you here for then?

Darcy pulls you in between himself and Lou. This lad heres Groog. Wants to go to the moon. Said it was haunted or some shit.

Darcy pats your shoulder. Alright, you two have fun making out or whatever. Ill be in my van. He walks away.

Lou inspects you up and down inquisitively. Groogwhat a fascinating robot you are. He gets up close in your face. But even more fascinating is how you know about the nature of the moon.

He backs off. Oh, but where are my manners? I am Sir Lou C. Gousey. Entrepreneur. Inventor. Innovator. In--

A rocket blasts off haphazardly into the sky, exploding prematurely and scattering debris on the surrounding land. One of the debris crushes a random robot worker.

Lou pauses. ...Intelligent.

You also pause. Then beep.

Yes, nice to meet you, Groog. Man of few words, I see. And yet, ever so eloquent. Color me jealous. His face darkens. But more importantly, color me curious. Do you serve the moon? I suggest you tread lightly with your answer.

A) Truth: Of course not, because the moon is evil
B) Lie: Obviously you do! Because the moon isevil?

thank you for everyone's continued patience, ill be updating this tomorrow

bump

ive seen people roll the car over some thick planks which lifts it enough to work on and is sturdy enough to not kill you

C) Time to activate SECRET BLOOD POWERS
You shimmy over the passenger seat to take a closer look at Millie. You beep at Billie.

Youwanna try something? Billie says, wiping her tears. Okay, just like, be careful with her.

You beep again.

We should probably step out? Its not gonna be pretty? But

Blake puts a hand on her shoulder. Lets listen to Groog for now. Cmon.

The two of them exit the car and stare silently at the sky.

You stare at the blood seeping through the makeshift bandage, which admittedly is doing a terrible job at being a bandage considering how much blood is coming out.

An odd craving wells up within your chest, almost like a primal hunger. If you were still human, youd be sweating a lot and your hands would be full of tremors.

You reach out your shaky hand and touch the wound.

The bandage comes undone, and a stream of blood wiggles out, like a snake out of a pot. It makes its way towards your chest, but blood also comes out of your chest; the blood that youve accumulated so far. The two blood-snakes meet in the middle and intertwine like DNA strands.

The hunger within you is getting stronger. As your urges well up, Millies blood snake draws closer to you, overpowering your blood snake.

You strain your brain circuits trying to fight the urges. As the hunger subsides, Your own blood snake starts to push back, slowly making its way to the wound. But your circuits can only take so much mental load. The snakes rock back and forth.

You feel a tap on your shoulder, but youre too busy concentrating on this blood war to notice.

It was Boxman. He taps you again, but you dont respond. He shakes his head and decides to go through with whatever he was thinking about.

He palm-strikes your back, jolting you.

Your concentration breaks and your vision blacks out. The two snakes return to their original bodies.

Alright, alright already! Im awake now! The nerve of you mortals! says a familiar voice. The red fairy from your past life flies out from your chest. She blinks and takes a quick glance at her surroundings, but was taken aback at Boxman. Youre

Boxman puts his index finger in front of his mouth, gesturing to shush. He crawls back to the corner of the van and goes back to resting.

Your vision returns. You loom over the fairy, pissed that you were rudely interrupted. And from what you remember of your past, you didnt really like this flying bitch. You beep with irritation.

Y-yes, nice to see you again, mortal. She says, hovering backwards slowly. Youre asking how I escaped the meteorite? Thats easy, I hid inside your soul! Did you forget that we became soul-bound the moment you drank my blood? And I must say, that was definitely the right call! Your body may have perished but your soul has remained strong for centuries!

You beep apathetically.

My, how rude to say you dont care. And after all the power Ive been lending you this whole time from being soul-bound!

You raise a metaphorical eyebrow and beep.

But of course, do you think mortals are just capable of manipulating blood like it was an average day? Thats MY specialty! And from the look of things, it certainly isnt yours.

You pause, then beep politely.

Youre asking for my help properly this time? Well, since we are bound, I cant actually say no.

Her expression becomes stern. However, I should warn you: directly asking for my full power requires a tribute. And that would be a year off your lifespan. For a vampire like Warren Locksmith, he had no problem calling for me since he could drink blood to increase his lifespan.

She flies up to your face and pokes it aggressively. You, on the other hand, only have about 3 years worth of life with your current vessel. Quite pathetic that mortals have become so much more transient after being housed in metal and machinery.

3 years? Shes right, that is pathetically short. That cant be right. But from deep within your databanks, you know the exact cause: planned obsolescence. For the first time since being booted up, you confound your existence.

A) Proceed with her help and take off a year.
B) Cancel this operation and try getting help in the city after all.

we uppin

uppin

B) Stick with Darcys original plan, but bring these two along to help them get out of this mess

You shake your head politely and beep.

Oh, you already got that all sorted out? Dope. Says Millie. Grammie is probs busy anyways.

In the distance, sirens are slowly getting louder.

A man stumbles into the pizzeria clasping his arm. Blood seeps out of his sleeve. Everyoneget the fuck out--

A bullet goes straight through his head, popping it like a grape. The rest of his body falls along with a lot of blood.

Everyone panics and makes a beeline for the doors. But more bullets are whizzing by, shattering the glass walls and injuring some of the exiting bystanders. Luckily though, looks like they all made it out.

Surprisingly, none of you left. Blake quickly kicks over the table, forming a cover facing the door. Shit! I thought we were laying low enough. Howd they find us? He readies his hi-tech gun strapped on back and loads it.

Billie slides underneath an adjacent table and kicks it over too. She pulls Millie in with her. Girl, why didnt you run like the others?!

She looks up from her phone and looks around frantically. Wait, whered everyone go?

Another bullet whizzes into the building, striking the table but not going through it.

Millie jumps, startled. Oh shit! Those werent fireworks?!

A smoke grenade flies into the building, fogging up the whole place. Through the smoke, a bunch of heavy footsteps march in alongside red dot laser points and the glowing red eyes of laser goggles bleeding through the smoke.

Before any of you have a chance to react, Boxman leaps over the tables and pounces on one of the assailants like a wild beast, ripping apart what shouldve been flesh.

Instead, all you hear is mechanical cacophony and crunching metal. The assailants gun flies over just past Millie and Billies table.

You and Blake nod at each other. Go time.

You grab the table, rotate it to hold it like a riot shield, and run it forward with so much speed that it blows away the smoke and crashes into some of the assailants, sending them and the table flying out of the building. As you run, Blake runs behind you and fires injudiciously at the sides of the table, nailing even more of these robot fucks.

With some of the smoke cleared, you get a glimpse of their dark-colored tactical uniforms and hi-tech assault rifles pointed at you. They open fire.

Blake quickly slides under a nearby table and kicks it up for new cover.

You brandish your staff and slide under the hail of bullets, sweeping the group of shooters. You didnt hold back on your strength though, which ripped their legs off their metallic frames.

Their torsos plop onto the floor, leaking oil and human blood which flies to your chest like your other murders.

Just nearby, you see Boxman bouncing from one robot to another, ripping them all up.

The kitchen door opens. Darcy walks out with some pizza boxes. Darcy takes one quick glance at whats happening right now. Darcy walks back in with his pizza.

As youre tearing through a group in front of you with your staff, another small squad sneaks up behind you.

But before they could do anything, they all get shot down with a storm of bullets coming from two different directions. One from Blakes side. And the other

Smoke hisses out of Millies new gun peeking out from behind the table. She laughs as she pulls the trigger again. Oh my god Billie you have GOT to try this its, like, therapy!

Billie pulls her back down, followed by a bunch of bullets whizzing past the table. Girl, are you trying to get yourself killed?!

As Blake keeps gunning them down, his gun eventually clicks. Outta bullets. No shortage of that though, when theres many guns lying on the ground now. He tosses his old gun and grabs another.

More sirens can be heard in the distance. Though, its masked by the constant deluge of bullets and metal clanking.

Blake ducks as he reloads. This aint looking too good, Groog! Theres even more coming! We gotta leave when we can!

Right on cue, Darcys van rams through the walls, running over the leftovers of this squad. The doors click as they unlock.

You open the sliding door and motion for everyone to get in.

Blake doesnt waste any time as he yanks Boxman from a metal corpse and instead into the van.

Millie and Billie also book it, but Millie stumbles and falls to one knee; blood seeping out of the knee-area of her pants. Billie looks at her with intense worry and sprints back to her, carrying her into the van like a princess.

Youre the last one in. You take shotgun. Doors close. Darcy floors it outta there.

No time to catch a breath, though. A bunch of police cars and armored vans arent far behind. Some of them fire at you.

Bullets strike the van, but none of them punch through, luckily.

Damn it all, I just wanted some pizza! yells Darcy as he drifts left past an intersection.

A mysterious individual also whizzes through the intersection and rolls up to your side of the van on a motorcycle. Except you recognize the mask hes wearing; its the masked man that tried to rob your store before. You roll down the window to hear him out.

He waves at you. Waddup, homie! I told you I wouldnt forget what youve done for me! Saw you on the news just now and I figure THIS time, I aint gonna miss it! Now go on and get outta here, robot dude! He says as he pulls out an SMG in one hand and starts firing behind him, right at the cops.

You nod and close the window.



Darcy stops the van. Nothing but sand and cacti around you. In the very far distance, you can see the bright city lights illuminating the darkness of the night, juxtaposed with billowing smoke from multiple areas of the city.

Darcy steps out and the first thing he does after all that is take out a cigarette from his coat and lights it up. Well lads, suffice to say we lost em. Now if one of you could hand me a nice slice of pizza from one of the boxes in the back, that would be very nice right now.

Blake scratches his head. Uhhhhh

Darcy sighs. The rugged lad ate it all, didnt he. He puffs out some smoke. Truly a dark and stormy night.

Boxman, being full as hell from that meal, is now fast asleep. Which is surprising that hes able to sleep through the sounds of crying and sobbing from Billie.

She tightens the makeshift bandage made from her torn-off sleeve and wrapped around Millies knee. A teardrop falls on top of it, mixing in with the blood.

Millie winces. Ow! Girl, I told you, Im not gonna-ow!--die, okay? Its just a lil wound. Ill like, walk it off or something--ow-- another teardrop. Goddamn girl, your tears salty as hell. What have you been eating--ow!

Billie cant form any coherent sentences at the moment. She seems too distraught at Millies condition.

Blake rubs the bandage made from another one of Billies sleeves wrapped on his upper arm. I kinda see where shes coming from, Millie. Youre her best friend, right? And you kinda almost died there. Bullet wounds arent that lil.

You beep in agreement.

Pssh, yall are making this a bigger thing than it is. Also, does anyone else feel like, kinda light-headed right now?-- Millie passes out from blood loss.

Billies panic goes into overdrive and she cries even more, burying her face into Millies knee and flooding it with tears.

Well that cant be good.

A) Take a risk and check Millie into a hospital back at the city
B) Take a smaller risk by still going back to the city, but using your celebrity status to get some non professional medical help
C) Time to activate SECRET BLOOD POWERS

upping again, thank you for everyones patience

bump

(Thanks for helping with keeping this topic alive yall!)

B) Trust him for now

Your robotic brain tells you to quell your dread with bloodshed. But youre more rational than that. So far, Darcy seems like an upstanding guy.

Groog, arent you seeing this shit? Am *I* the weird one here? says a flustered Blake. He stares at both you and Darcy in hopes that hell be vindicated, but it doesnt happen. He sighs and continues keeping the old man occupied.

You finish up replacing the dirt, patting the fresh new mound with your shovel.

Darcy pats you on the back. Good job, lad. I got a few more cases here in this cemetery, so sooner I can see those bodies, sooner we can get to your uh, moon adventures.

You both nod and ready your shovels.



A few hours pass. It was mostly the same routine of digging up a fresh corpse, quickly getting the story behind their deaths, and putting them back.

Now youre back in Darcys beat-up van, on the way to a pizzeria for some dinner.

Sothis is what detective work is like? Mostly just backyard labor? asks Blake from the backseat.

Well lad, most of my colleagues? They actually dont do what I do.

Oh, because of thenec--

--Because they dont work as hard as me! Im probably the only detective that has to use the shovel so much. Other detectives take their damn time and take it easy, and it takes them months to crack a case. Me? I just cracked like half a dozen cases in one day!

...Rrrrright.

Always keep this in mind, lad. No one does a job like Blowes does. Thats why some of my clients call em Blowe jobs.

I will absolutely not be calling them that, but sure, Ill keep that in mind, sir.

The van pulls up to the pizzeria--some beat up shack in the more rundown part of the city. The three of you enter.

Inside is a bunch of shabby restaurant-tables and chairs. A handful of people are currently here too.

Of those people, two of them get up and look at you with awe.

Oh. Em. Fuck. Billie, its THEM. says a short girl wearing really large and stylish sunglasses indoors and a work uniform.

Yes, I can see them too girl, were literally looking in the same direction. Oh my god Millie youre like, embarrassing me in front of some goddamn celebrities here! says a tall robot girl wearing the exact same pair of sunglasses but a different work uniform.

Blake raises an eyebrow. Uhhhcelebrities? Where?

Millie giggles. Uh, you guys, obviously.

Youre the guys that like, started a whole revolution and all? says Billie. HUGE fan, by the way. Saw that shit on the news and was like, oh my god I GOTTA kill my boss too!

Girl oh my god same!

Millie oh my god I already know, you told me like twice already UGH.

Millie giggles again, but with a little more crazy behind it. Heehee, who knew killing your boss would feel, like, SO good? But like, oh my god SUPER illegal too? Wait oh my god Billie should I get a vid with these two?

Girl come on, you KNOW the first rule of the revolution is that nobody talks everyone walks. They were never here and we were never there. Literally this is why bitches get stitches, girl!

Darcy leans against the counter. Thats great, ladies. Now can someone tell me why there aint a single soul back here?

So like, funny story about that, begins Millie, I used to work here--

Okay, gotcha, no one works here anymore. So whered you all get pizzas?

Billie takes a slice from her box and bites it. This place doesnt even do handmade pizzas like they claimed. Its, like, a bunch of frozen pizzas back here. So weve all just been heating up some pizzas in the back oven for ourselves, and everyones been chill a. f. about not hogging all the stock.

Everyone else in the pizzeria nods while eating peacefully.

Ah fuck. So a blokes gotta cook his own pizza after breaking his back? Well aint that just great. Darcy hops over the counter and through the kitchen door.

The two ladies go back to their table and gesture for you two (technically three) to come over.

Since Darcys on kitchen duty, you figure you might as well.

Blake looks down to the old man still nibbling on the empty box. Alright Boxman, if you behave, youll get some of your own pizza, got that?

Boxman sweats as he looks at the other customers pizza.

Blake wags his finger. I gotta repeat this to you dont I. NO eating other peoples food, okay?

Boxman reluctantly nods.

Blake walks over to the table. You beep at him questioningly.

Yeah, I named him Boxman. He didnt respond at all when I asked him his name, so now its Boxman.

Millie giggles at Boxman. Your dog is like, SO weird oh my god. But I cant even say anything cuz like, my dog is also weird a. f. like, look at him!

She shows you a picture of her lockscreen which is her standing next to a bear with a collar. Isnt he cute?

Billie shoves her aside. Alright shut up already, girl. So like, what are you two cuties doing at this piece of shit?

You beep.

Billie looks confused. Dinner after digging some bodies up? Moons evil so youre trying to get up there? Her face quickly becomes normal again. Dope.

What about you guys? Asks Blake, you said you killed your boss? Here? Shouldnt you guys be kinda far from the crime scene?

Millie looks at Blake with awe. Oh my god are you like, twins with Billie? Cuz she said the EXACT same thing to me! Like, okay, sure I killed him like, earlier this morning, but like, I hid his body and cleaned all the blood! Plus all the cops are busy with all the riots and shit! I should be good, right Billie?

Billie sighs. Ive been telling this girl, Girl cmon we gotta get the fuck outta here already, but nooo, instead we sit here eating pizza because shes hungry and then gets distracted for the next few hours by funny vids.

Millie smirks. Aha! So you DO think theyre funny!

Girl, literally shut the fuck up.

Wait, you said you need to get to the moon? asks Millie. My grandma is like, an astronaut or some shit. If you guys want, I could like, ask her for help right now!

A) Take up their offer
B) Stick with Darcys original plan, but bring these two along to help them get out of this mess
C) Stick with Darcys original plan, plus leave them here

bump

C) Tag along for some detective adventures

You beep.

Coming along then? Alright, follow me.



After riding in Darcys old beat-up van, you arrive in a cemetery within the slums of the city. However, this cemetery feels oddly familiar, and the pair of rusted shovels leaning against the fence further feed that familiarity.

Blake is behind, pulling the biting old man using the pizza box as a leash. Groog, how much longer do I gotta watch this guy? Plus Im pretty sure theres no more pizza, why is he stuck on the box?

You beep frankly.

Well, okay, I guess hes gotta be important if he was guarding that weird stick. And if he wants to live off the scent of pizza alone then I guess thats his life. Anyway, why are we here? This place is giving me the chills, man.

Darcy grabs a rusted shovel and starts digging up one of the graves. Did you forget already, lad? Were here for detective work.

RIght, of course sir. But uh, it doesnt really look like what detectives do in the movies.

Bah, those movies are a load of shit. Let me show you how a real detective does it.

He finishes digging up the grave to reveal the corpse of a woman, still mostly intact. It doesnt seem long since she died.

Darcy kneels and first takes out a tape recorder, clicking the record button on it. Then he takes out an amethyst pendant from his coat pocket and shines it above the corpse. It emits a familiar glow.

The woman bursts with motion, sitting upright and panting heavily. Whwhat thehowwha--

Darcy tips his hat. Maam, please dont be alarmed. Im a detective here on behalf of your best friend Tracy Williams who said your case was abandoned by the police.

She calms down her panting. TTracy? Wait, abandoned? Mr. Detective, what the hell is going on? Im supposed to be--

Dead, yes yes this isnt my first rodeo, maam. Anyway, do you know who murdered you?

Yyes, I believe it was my sister, Abigail. That bitch wanted our fathers inheritance money, so she laced my tea with arsenic--

Alright, thats culprit, motive, and method established. Thank you for your time, maam.

Wait!--

With that, he shines the pendant again, turning off its glow. He also clicks stop on his tape recorder.

The timing of his click lines up with the woman falling back into her grave.

He stands up and turns to you two. Alright, who wants to shovel the dirt back in?

Blake is stunned at what had just transpired. Dudedid you justbring the dead back to life?!

You grab the other rusty shovel and replace the dirt, unfazed by Darcys necromancy. After all, its also not your first rodeo.

But its exactly because its not your first rodeo that you feel a sense of dread. It was a crazy necromancer that was your undoing before.

A) Kill Darcy before you get backstabbed again
B) Trust him for now

you can go to windows sound settings (the old windows 7 control panel version) and go to the "sounds" tab to set the sound effects, its a bit of a hassle to set it up to be like the old days but its doable

bumpin

uppin

"where do i start with one piece"
"chapter 1 bro"

"where do i start with spider man"
"welllll there's amazing spider man, spectacular spider man, peter parker spider man, web of spider-man--"

B1) Ride back to the city to ask the detective for help, and bring the feral old man with you

You beep.

Blake sighs. Okay, so you dont actually know how to get there. But you know someone that might?

You nod. And then beep again.

And you wanna take the old man?

Beep.

What do you mean hes like a cute angry chihuahua?!

Beep.

Okay, I guess thats fair that you robots see all humans as flesh pets. Wait, so what kind am I?

You beep jovially and walk away towards the old man.

Blake scratches his head. The fuck you mean thats for me to find out?! He says as he storms over to the bike.

You yank the pizza box away from the old man, causing him to stay perfectly still. This would be really unnerving if you had a humans survival instinct. Fortunately, you do not, so you saunter over to the bike and throw the tattered box of pizza into the delivery box.

The old man follows the scent of pizza and sits atop the closed delivery box like a sphinx guarding its pepperoni flavored treasure.

With that, you rev the bike and speed back to the city.



It was a dark and stormy night Says the detective with a gruff voice as he looks out his offices window and staring at the burning city and the rioting crowd of both robots and humans. ...but replace the storm with a clear sky, and replace the clear sky with a bunch of airborne molotovs, and replace the darkness with--

The detectives monologue is interrupted by his office door opening and you emerging.

A visibly stressed Blake also walks through, playing tug of war with the feral man over the box of pizza.

The detective tips his hat at you. So youve come, lad. Your exploits on the news have sparked an entire uprising in the city!

Blake lets go of the box, letting the old man hog it in the corner next to a potted plant. Oh, good, so I wasnt tripping when I saw everything on fire.

The detective sits down behind his desk and adjusts his coat and tie. So, Im sure youve already seen it on the business card, but to formally introduce myself, my name is Darcy Blowes. Nice to meet you, Groog and Blake.

You beep curiously.

Of course Id already know your names. They were plastered all over the news. He looks over to the corner. That fellow over there, however, was not on the news. Should I know about him?

You shake your head.

Righty-o then, youve come because you need a detective, yes?

You beep.

You want me to help you get to the moon? Lad, do you know what a detective does?

Beep.

Oh. So its not that you need a detective, its that you need me who happens to be a detective.

You nod.

He takes off his hat and scratches his head. Well lad, not sure what to tell ya. Whats up with the moon?

Beep.

Moons making everyone crazy and murdery? You sure its not because everyone was being treated like garbage and theyve finally had enough?

Blake chimes in. Yeah no I think thats what it is, Groog. I mean, technically I became murdery because of you.

You give him the metaphorical side eye.

Darcy puts his hat back on. Well, I certainly cant deny that people have been getting crazier and murdery-er over the years. Butthe moon? He grumbles. Look lad, I guess I might know a guy. Who knows a guy. But since its not actual detective work, youll have to either wait til Im done with my current cases, or tag along while I do them.

A) Wait in the office
B) Wait by wandering around town
C) Tag along for some detective adventures

deoxxys posted...

Gamefaqs

big if true

up

use more throws, no one ever expects throws

if you ignore all the bad stuff its pretty good

C) Tell him youre here to deliver pizza

Blake looks around, looks at the old man, then looks at you, all with confusion. This is where you wanted to go? Whos the weird looking guy?

You shrug and approach the guy. He still doesnt acknowledge you even when youre right in front of him. You wave your hand in front of his face. Nothing.

You rub your chin, then decide to stop giving a fuck and raise your hand to shove him aside--

He swats your hand away and shakes his head.

You roll up your sleeve, ready to throw hands.

Blake pulls you back. Oops, haha, sorry about my coworker here. Were just here to deliver pizza, he says while holding the pizza boxes that were in the bike.

The old man stares at Blake. Then in the blink of an eye, he pounces at Blake and snatches the pizza boxes, eating them off the ground like a rabid animal.

You and Blake look at each other, silently agreeing on what a fucked up sight this is. You then walk past him and into the tiny wooden shack.

Inside, its just the stick. Nothing else.

Blake whistles. Damn, who lives like this? Got no room to speak though, literally. This place is just a bit bigger than the closet.

You couldnt really hear what he was saying. Youve tuned him out. All your attention is on the stick. It calls on you.

You must respond to it. You reach out for it and grab hold of it.

Your head is bombarded with rapid sequences of images. You can feel yourself overheating. Error.

An image of smacking a large muscular man so hard his neck breaks. Error.

An image of beheading a man with visibly large bloody fangs. Error.

An image of corpses floating to the sky. Error. A throne crushing a head error a robed man laughing error a large flaming meteor falling from the sky error error error

Two overlapping images of two different people asking if they could eat your berries. Error.

Your vision returns to you. Smoke is sizzling out of your crevices. A small popup appears internally: Language unit bootup is at 8%.

Groog? Groog, you okay buddy? Blake says while lightly slapping you awake.

You catch his hand and beep.

He lets out a sigh of relief. Oh, good. So what the hell was that? You were making weird noises and having a robo-seizure!

You look down on your hand that is now holding the staff. You beep.

...You were just having arobo moment? Well, alright then. So whats the deal with the stick?

You say nothing. All Blake can do in the silence is stare at his own face reflected on your shiny blank head.

Imguessing its nothing. Gotcha. Alright, so where do we go now?

You step outside and point at the sky.

Blake walks up beside you and looks up. Uhthe sun?

You shake your head and beep.

The moon?! Thats a bit of an extreme hiding place from the cops, dont you think?

Beep.

The moons fucked up? Well thats not a very nice thing to say to our one and only moon.

You get all up in his face and beep, forcing him to look at his mangled reflection.

He gulps. Okay okay, one trip to the moon, gotcha. Lemme just-- he takes out his phone and fiddles with it. Good news, GPS says itll take about 79,618 hours to get there on foot. Just gotta worry about the slowdown on the interstate.

You beep with contempt.

Yes, Groog, of course Im fucking with you here. Just like youre clearly fucking with me! How the hell are we gonna get to the moon, huh?

A) Ride back to the citys space station and steal a spaceship [LOUD OPTION]
B) Ride back to the city to ask that detective that gave you his card for help [QUIET OPTION]

While you're thinking about that, you're also kinda distracted by the loud eating noises from the feral old man.

1) Take the feral old man with you
2) Leave him here

what does poster #36 (6^2) get

bump

C) Wait for another car to come by and take that instead

Youre leaning against the hood of the car, looking up at the sun. Supposedly for humans, thats a really bad idea. Sucks to be them, you guess.

Blake comes up and offers you a bottle of water. Nicked this at the store, he says while opening a can of soda and drinks it for himself. Water should be all you need to keep going, right?

You beep and take his water, drinking it alongside him.

Did I steal it? Cmon Groog, we literally committed murder. Might as well not pay for shit if were wanted anyway.

You beep affirmatively, then beep again.

Not too keen on waiting for this thing to charge, huh? I might have an idea.

He walks out to the road and holds out his hand, pointing his thumb upwards to the sky.

You walk up to his side, mostly confused, and follow suit. You beep.

Yes, it looks stupid. Apparently this is what my grandpa did whenever he needed a ride. Dunno if people still do this.

In the distance, some dust clouds are kicking up from a motorcycle fast approaching. Really fast approaching.

So fast that the rider gets clotheslined by your outstretched arm. His helmet gets a knuckle imprint before it flies off, revealing that the rider was a robot. The bike skids, but remains mostly unscathed as it reaches a stop. The rider however, is definitely scathed as hell, since his head flew off alongside the helmet, and sparks are flying out of his neck.

But more importantly for you, blood is gushing out of him. The blood flies over to your chest, getting absorbed.

Blake runs to the bike and drives it over to you, revving it loudly. Wow! Thanks Grandpa. Anyway I think this thing was for pizza. Had some boxes in the trunk thingy. Want some?

You shake your head and seat behind him, holding on tightly.

He wheezes a bit from how tight you were holding. You hold less tightly. He revs it up and near-instantly blasts off to blazing fast speeds.

Shit!!!!!, Groog, I dunno where Im going!

You roll your metaphorical eyes and take over the handlebars, steering this thing away from oblivion.



In record time, you arrive at your destination: A tiny lone wooden house in the dead middle of nowhere except rugged land and ruined buildings.

Through the window, you can see the item that was calling to you: A wooden stick impaled into the floor. However, the only door is guarded by a robed old man with a long beard. Even with your arrival, he remains unmoved and his face remains stoic.

A) Kill him and get in
B) Threaten him
C) Tell him youre here to deliver pizza

up

B) Run out and hijack a car for a chase

Blake closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Oh boy. So begins the consequences of my actions

You beep and grab his arm, running out of the store with him.

Immediately, youre greeted with the smell of morning dew, the dark blue hue of the partially risen sunlit sky, the faint rays of the sun seeping between the tall blocky buildings all around the district

And the few people passing by not giving a fuck about you two coming out of the blaring store, with Blake still holding a gun in hand. Seems this is a normal occurrence for them.

Parked parallel to the sidewalk is a sleek-looking silver car. All four wheels are attached, of course.

Ah Groog, smart idea! We can use Sambots car to get outta here! says Blake who tries to reach for the car handle, but the handle is sunk flush into the car. Damn, guess we need the key. Ill be right back, he says, running back to the store.

You put your hand against the handle and beep.

The car beeps back, angrily.

You beep back even angrier. Red sparks appear out of your hand. Some of the blood that you absorbed emerge from your fingertips and seep into the car.

The car beeps obediently and reveals the handles.

You look at your hand to inspect it, wondering what just happened, but find nothing out of the ordinary.

Blake returns from the store, jingling some car keys. Alright, I snatched our ticket out of here--wait, its already unlocked?

You nod and open the door for him, then hopping to the other side to get into the drivers seat. You push a button to start a car. Looks like it simply relies on the keys being nearby to work.

You give it a few revs, then shift to drive and screech down the street.

Yknow Groog, its actually pretty bad for a cars health to rev while parked--

You put your finger on his lips, gesturing to shush him. But since you have no mouth, you beep instead of shushing.

Blake swats your finger away. Alright alright, so where are we going?

You shrug. However, you get a strange feeling within you that compels you towards a certain location. Youre not sure where it is, nor how to get there, but

You put your finger on the touch screen dashboard. Red sparks fly out of your fingertip, followed by a drop of blood leaking out and being absorbed by the screen. It changes to a GPS display, showing a long drive many miles away to some point far from the city.

Goddamn, off the grid huh? I guess thats par for the course for a couplea murderers.

You beep.

Well yes, I was the one that spilled blood, but youre the one that handed me this gun.

Beep.

Argue all you want, but I seriously dont know how youre gonna argue to the cops that youre not also a murderer. Speaking of cops, I hear the sirens coming.

You floor it, speeding down the road and weaving through cars with reckless abandon. Except its not that reckless since youre a robot who can perfectly calculate how your car is gonna move.

In the middle of your weaving, a car from some German brand gets into your lane and blocks you off at the last minute without using a turn signal. Guess even your perfect calculations cant predict inept driving.

You swerve to that cars side and ram it off the road, causing it to spiral out of control and slam into a building and explode.

The blood from the driver seeps out and quickly flies through the car window into your chest.

Blake, however, didnt notice any of that since hes glued to his smartphone. Yooo Groog, check it out! We made it on the news! The breaking news, even! Man, car chases are a lot weirder when youre in the passengers seat of one. He looks up from his phone. Wait, is that a bunch of fire in the rear view--

You put your finger on his lips and shush him again.



Youre currently at a car-recharging station in front of a convenience store thats miles away from the city now. But your car ran out of juice and you still have a few miles left from your destination, and its gonna take a few minutes to charge. Luckily youve lost the cops thanks to your incredibly stupid but effective driving.

A) Walk the rest of the way
B) Wait for the car to recharge by chilling at the store
C) Wait for another car to come by and take that instead

bump

C) Hand him the hi tech gun and conspire to kill Sambot tomorrow to kick off the anti-robot human-robot uprising.

You bolt out of the closet, startling Blake. When you come back, you present to him something the masked man forgot: the gun. It looks like a very blocky pistol with a small LED screen.

You turn on the gun. The small screen boots up to a generic 1 minute car commercial, then goes to a screen asking for the wifi password.

Blake stares at it with a hint of fear, but mostly confusion. You want me to put in the password?

You shake your head and beep.

He is now staring at it with full fear and zero confusion. WaitIM the one firing it?!

You shove it in his hands.

He fumbles with it like its a hot potato. This is crazy, man! I dont even know how to use one of these things! He says while putting in the wifi password.

You tap the small screen to pull up YouTube. Three unskippable 1-minute ads play.

The both of you stare at each other in uncomfortable silence, with only the sounds of consumerism playing bombastically through the guns tiny speaker.

Once the ads are up, a video showing how to kill someone with a gun plays.

Groog, you cant be serious--oh. So thats what that does. Huh. He twiddles with the gun, figuring out how to take out the full magazine. Whoa. Sick.

The video gets to the part where the guy shoots another guy. It didnt look fake.

Blake stares at the screen with a lot of contemplation. GroogI dont know if I can he turns to look at you, but instead only sees his own reflection against the lustrous surface of your literally blank face.

And in that reflection, all Blake sees is how malnourished and sleep deprived his face looks.

You beep.

Yeahyeah youre fucking right. Fuck this job, man. Im already dying anyway!



The sunlight starts to seep in through the doors and windows. Sambot walks in gleefully. Rise and shine, everyone! He walks up to the intercom and pushes the button. Blake, how about you light this place up?

In the next instant, the only light that turns on is a muzzle flash.

Blake takes his finger off the trigger as the barrel sizzles with smoke. Sure, whatever.

Sambot collapses to the floor, and red liquid starts gushing out of him. He sparks and smokes, spasming around until he stays still.

You emerge from the darkness and walk over to his lifeless body, crouching over it and dipping your finger in the pool of red fluid. You beep.

Yeah, man. Thats human blood. They put em in robots since its the best fluid for transporting nutrients or something, I wasnt really paying attention in school.

The blood starts to glow, whirling around before it all flies into your chest and gets absorbed.

You look at Blake and beep.

He puts his hands up. Dont look at me, blood DEFINITELY isnt supposed to do that.

A siren blares from the ceiling, and red lights pop out. Unauthorized death detected. A robotic voice says from the intercom speakers. Authorities have been alerted. Estimated time of arrival: 10 minutes. Recalculating. Estimated time of arrival: 20 minutes.

A) Set up defenses and be ready to stand your ground in this store
B) Run out and hijack a car for a chase
C) Run out and head to the detective that gave you his card earlier

bumpin
also Blake is human yes, hence why i amended it to be the "human-robot uprising"

A) Beep affirmatively and continue your job.

You beep affirmatively. However, Sambots kick will be registered in your memory banks. Forever.

Sambot slaps your back. Attaboy! And if you ever HAVE to see me again? Lets hope you wont.



Strangely enough, or perhaps as Sambot said, no other customers came in. Its a mystery how this place stays afloat. The once bright light outside the glass doors is now a moody dark blue shade of night.

Sambot passes by, no longer wearing his uniform but instead wearing a casual jacket and jeans. Good work today, Groog! Keep it up tomorrow! He pushes the intercom button. Blake, lights out.

Sure, whatever, he says before the whole store goes dark.

Sambot waves you off and walks out.

Even in the darkness, your shadow looks overbearing from the ambient light through the doors.

Now that youre technically off shift, you dont have to watch the doors. So you watch the people and robots walking by on the sidewalk outside. Cars whizzing by. Sirens echoing in the distance.

You realize youve been staring for an hour now. And strangely enough, you have yet to see another person that should have walked out those doors too.

You push the intercom and beep.

Some stumbling can be heard in the distant corner, and then a door creaking open. WhaGroog? Is that you? Blake says on the other line.

Beep.

Why havent I gone home yet? Come to the closet. Itll be easier to explain.

And so you mosey to the back corner of the store, where the closet door resides. You knock, as your manners unit is still intact.

Blake opens the door, still in uniform. He flips his long bangs to the side so he can see you clearly. Come on in, man. Uh, is it politically correct to call you man?

Beep.

It doesnt mean anything to you? Gotcha, man.

You step in and see shelves full of cleaning supplies lining the walls. In the middle is a single sleeping bag.

You beep with worry.

Go to my real home? Sadly Groog, real homes are for well-off people. He sits cross-legged on his sleeping bag. This is home for people like me, man. Too many people and robots in the city. Not enough houses. So companies have been offering room and board in their job perks.

He stretches out his arms, but they get impeded by shelves. Hardly any room, if that tells you anything about the rest of the perks. But I definitely get very bored.

Beep.

Man, Id love to leave this shithole. But where else would I go? Every other job that offers room and board sucks as much as this place. I dont make enough to get my own place.

He lies down and stares at the fly hovering around the dim and dirty ceiling light. Im trapped, man.

A) Tell him that sucks, and that youll see him tomorrow.
B) Grab him and bust out for a night around the city.
C) Hand him the hi tech gun and conspire to kill Sambot tomorrow to kick off the anti-robot human-robot uprising.

in a rare turn of events, we have a 3 way tie

C) Greet them

You kick your legs up and swing them like a schoolgirl, beeping amicably.

Uhhello to you too? Says the coated man.

You nod and beep again.

The lady speaks gibberish since she doesnt have her teeth.

Doing alright, how about you? says the coated man.

My days fucking ruined thanks to you, asshole! says the masked man.

Now now, the robot lads just doing his job.

The masked man tries to wiggle free to no avail. WhataboutMY job?!

Which is?

Robbing stores. Obviously! He wiggles again but gives up and sighs. I cant do anything right, man. This shoulda been easy. Im just a failure, man.

You beep.

He tears up through his mask. Youyou think so? Im not a failure?

Hes right you know, says the coat man.



One long conversation later. You turn over, still lying on the three people but facing up at the ceiling wistfully. Surprisingly, no other shoplifters have walked in.

...And thats when I realized that my mother has killed my ability to truly connect with another human being, says the masked man.

Thats rough, lad.

The old lady nods.

You beep.

Whoathats pretty deep, man. The masked man sobs. Youre pretty alright, robot dude.

Some metal stomping approaches you. Groog! What the hell are you doing?! Get off the goddamn customers! Sambot yells before kicking you off.

Hey! Whaddya do that for, dude?!

Sambot crouches down and extends his hand to the masked man. Im very sorry about this, sir. Perhaps we can compensate you with a complimentary gift card?

The masked man slaps Sambots hand away, then gets up disgruntled and dusts himself off. Fuck no. Not cool man, kicking my boy down like that. I cant be in a place that treats my homies like this!

He stomps over to you to help you up. Thanks again, robot dude. I wont forget what youve done for me today. He turns around to Sambot. And to you, go burn in robot hell or whatever. Peace! He yells before storming out.

The coated man gets up and helps the old lady up as well. Im with the lad on this one. I was gonna get a quick snack before returning to my post but your fucked up action has ruined my appetite. Good day, robot sir.

He walks over to you and holds out a small business card. You seem like an upstanding young robot man. If youre ever fucked, come find me if you need a private detective. He pats your shoulder and walks out the doors.

The old lady bends down to grab her dentures.

Sambot grabs them before she gets to them. Please maam, allow me to help.

The lady snatches it out of his hands, puts them back on, then bites on his finger.

He screams like a cartoon character. Upon the release of her jaws, his finger can be seen caved in like a crushed soda can.

The old lady hmphs and storms out the doors without uttering a word.

Sambot puts his arms on his hips. Great going, dumbass. See what youve done?! You made us lose some valuable customers.

You beep monotonously.

Okay, yes, I dont actually give a shit about those guys. But I gotta act like a manager once in a while here! He puts a hand on your shoulder. Haha, but seriously though. We really dont get much business around here, if you havent already noticed. So uh, think you can be trusted to not fuck up any further?

A) Beep affirmatively and continue your job.
B) Punch him in the robo nuts and walk out
C) Run to the hi tech gun and start the anti-robot robot uprising

bumpo

B) Stop this shoplifter

You run over and tackle the coated man to the ground.

Hey what the f-- he says before his mouth meets the tiled floor.

You beep very aggressively.

Another shoplifter walks through the sliding door, an old frail lady whos already winded just from taking a few steps.

You tackle her down too, next to the coated man.

Oh my stars-- she says before her dentures fall out.

You beep angrily, and then you beep with pride. You can definitely feel yourself doing a great job so far.

A man in a ski mask runs in holding a hi-tech looking gun.

You tackle him down too, between the last two bodies. His gun falls out of his hands and slides into one of the aisles.

You lay down across the bodies, pinning them down with your heavy metal frame.

You beep with satisfaction, but now youre not really sure what to do. They seem adequately stopped.

A) Call in the death laser. That seems to be procedure for fleshbag humans as Mr. Sambot demonstrated
B) Bring them to Mr. Sambots office
C) Greet them

bump, another tie between C and B

the soundtrack immediately hooked me, ill take a copy please :)

AB) A break and to keep your staff safe

You gaze at the rock and ingrain your first wish into your soul: A break. You then take out your staff and impale it upright into the ground; the staff your father used, and the one his father used, and the one his fathers father used. And his one and only ever physical gift hes given you.

You hope that your descendents will use it well. Well, youre not actually sure how you get descendents. Your father never even told you how you descended from him. Or how he descended from his father. But regardless, you bless them with your staff.

The sky is really bright and red now. You feel like your skin is burning up.

The red fairy panics. You mortals are crazy! Im taking my leave! She dives towards your chest, phasing inside. That felt kinda weird and now your heart feels like its burning, but youre not sure if its because of the fairy or the Wishing Rock.

The deteriorated throne that Drath stands on ignites into flames, eventually collapsing. Drath plummets into the burning remains. I have done as you commanded, and now I return to you, my lord. He says before landing to his death.

You and Oskar stand before each other.

He looks at you with resignation, seemingly accepting of his fate. Well Gregor, guess all that money we got is now meaningless.

You sit on the floor. Money has always been meaningless to me, Wanderer Oskar. Life was simpler when you could give away berries and cows for other berries and cows.

Oskar looks away, gazing at the twinkle. Berries, huh? That sounds pretty good right now. You got any berries I could eat?

You shake your head.

Oskar laughs. Even in the end, you still cant figure out a joke.

The end of what?

He closes his eyes. Figure it out in the next life, my friend.

You open your mouth to reply, but in the next instant, the twinkle in the distance touches the horizon, and light engulfs your entire view. The tremors make you lose balance. You feel immense pain as your blood begins to boil.

And then, you feel nothing.

* * *

Currently, you are the Greeting Robot Of Otherworldly Grocers, or G.R.O.O.G. for short.

Mr. Sambot, begins a guy dressed in a blue uniform, You cant be serious! My family depends on the money I get from this job!

The large buff metallic man laughs as he re-adjusts his blue collared shirt. You silly humans and your defective hearing. I said that youre being replaced, no questions asked. Did you really think that greeting people is a real job?

The guy gets on his knees. Please Mr. Sambot, Ill do anything!

Sambot sighs and walks over to the wall, pushing a button. Blake, can we get a Death Laser on aisle 1, please? he says on the intercom.

In another corner of the store, a young teen with hair long enough to cover one of his eyes groans. Sure, whatever. He says monotonously and pushes a button.

A mounted laser gun descends from the ceiling, vaporizing the kneeling guy in an instant.

Sambot sighs and pushes the button again. Blake, can you clean this shit up on aisle 1? I forgot that lasering people leaves behind their charred remains.

Sure, whatever, says Blake on the intercom monotonously.

Sambot grumbles, then quickly changes his face to a bright welcoming one upon facing you. Well Groog, I just switched you on, so welcome to the world! You and me, were robots. That means were just like these fleshbag humans, but way cooler.

You beep furiously. Internally, you get a message saying that your language unit is still starting up, and its been stuck at 7% since youve been switched on.

Sambot slaps your small metal back. Not much of a talker, huh? No worries, you wont need to for this job. Come along now.

He leads you towards the glass sliding doors. This right here is the entrance to Otherworldly Groceries. Your job is to watch the doors and greet anyone that comes in. But you also got a secret second job, which is to stop any shoplifters. Any questions?

You beep.

He slaps your back again. Attaboy! Alright, Ill be fucking off in my office. If you need me, no you dont. He waves you off as he walks away.

You take a look around the place. Its aisles upon aisles filled with various objects. Theres cameras in every nook and cranny and corner of this place.

Your curious visual adventure is interrupted with a little jingle sounding out from the doors, as a man in a coat walks in. He waves at you.

A) Greet him
B) Stop this shoplifter
C) Start the robot uprising

currently tied between A and B

A1) Take the body and the red fairy with you.

You ponder for a moment. Lets take him with us. Itll be easier for the throne to verify it. And Sir Drath will likely want to examine him too.

Oskar nods. Right, that sounds pretty agreeable.

You both stand, unmoving.

Oskar clears his throat. Uh, right, so, youre carrying the body, right?

You take a step back. I dont want to touch something that grotesque.

Seriously? Its not even the weirdest thing youve touched-- Oskar does a double take. Hold on a minute. What did you say?

You stare back, confused. I said I do not want--

Want? Since when did you want or not want anything?

You put your hand on your chin. Youreright. My apologies, Im not sure what came over me, Ill go ahead and carry the body as you wish.

No no, I dont really mind it, I was just uh, taken aback. He takes a glance at the headless body. On second thought, yeah, go carry that thing.

You sheathe your staff on your back and walk over to Warrens body.

The red fairy has been trying to put his head back on this whole time, but it rolls away every time. Upon seeing you approach her, she angrily glares at you and holds onto Warrens head tightly.

You kneel and grab his headless body, then try to wrestle his head away from the fairy.

She tries with all her might, but due to her diminutive stature, you are unfazed and snatch the head away almost effortlessly.

She grits her teeth and darts to your face, punching your cheek and shouting obscenities at you. However, it is in a language you do not understand, sounding very arcane and esoteric.

And yet, you remain unfazed.

The fairy growls and bites her hand, making blood drip out. She punches your mouth, forcing you to ingest her blood.

Within seconds, your mind is flooded with incomprehensible images. You cannot fathom or understand anything youre experiencing. On the outside, mere milliseconds have passed, but in your mind, an entire millennium has flown by.

You blink once, and the images cease. Instead, your vision is filled with an angry fairy.

Filthy mortal! Are you finally able to perceive my words?! She shouts.

You shrug and ignore her, making your way to the door.

She scorns and resumes her relentless attacks on your cheek.

You walk out the door with Warren in your hands and the fairy still assaulting your face. Oskar follows behind.

You descend the inclined path that led to the castle. Since it was built high above the kingdom, you can easily see what remains of it; nothing. Every building has been demolished, and some are left ablaze.

The full moon is out and illuminates the bodies and blood littering the streets. Although, some bodies seem to be walking around just fine, since theyre now reanimated corpses. Some are dragging the bodies around in random directions, leaving trails of blood everywhere. But some are carrying other bodies back to the center of town.

You follow them back to said center.

There, you see Drath with his arms spread wide, facing the moon with maniacal glee. He stands atop the throne, which is somehow mostly unharmed. It breathes slowly, showing fatigue.

You approach them and throw down Warrens body and head in front of the throne. Are you satisfied with this?

The thrones breathing speeds up, clearly agitated, then slows down again. Warrenyou bastard

The body starts sucking up the blood from the floor. It starts to move, reaching out for its head--

The throne flattens both the body and the head repeatedly using his massive wooden leg, as if violently squishing an ant. You bastard. You bastard. You bastard! Death is too kind for a monster like you! He shouts with pure unfettered rage.

The fairy stops punching on your cheek and watches this carnage in utter horror, covering her mouth with both her hands.

Oskar whistles. Oh yeah, hes definitely dead now. Wooden stake to the heart, classic way to kill vampires. Probably still counts if this stake is a huge pillar of wood.

The stomping stops. He lifts his leg and moves it away, revealing Warrens mushed remains. The blood it absorbed trickles back out.

Despite all the thrones erratic movement, Drath remains unfettered, still staring intently at the full moon.

The throne takes exhausted breaths. Adventurer. I plead with you one last favor. Kill me. There is nothing left for me here. Ive lost everything.

You nod and take out your staff.

Dont bother, boy, Drath finally says something. His soul is bound to this entire kingdom. Even if you destroy his current vessel, theres plenty of other things tied to this kingdom that he can be bound to. Tis a curse of eternal damnation to a hell of his own making.

He gives a devilish grin and grips his amethyst pendant tightly. But luckily for you, your majesty, I have a way with souls! He stabs the pendant into the throne.

The throne lets out a ghastly scream, haunting the entire landscape.

You, Oskar, and the fairy cover your ears.

Drath cackles. What a beautiful soul! So tainted with desire! So potent with malice!

His pendant slowly turns blood-red. The throne, once animated and breathing, eventually stiffens back into lifelessness. The wood on the throne quickly deteriorates, with cracks forming and bits of wood chipping off.

Drath yanks his pendant out of the now soulless throne. Gregor, our destinies are surely intertwined. Thanks to you, Ive been blessed with so many opportunities and resources. He spreads his arms out again, looking straight up to the moon. NowI can finish my work. He claps his hands together with full force, smashing the pendant.

The blood all around the city begins to glow. The moon turns red. All the corpses littered around town levitate toward the sky. If you were high above, you might notice that all the blood trails in the city form a magic circle.

But youre not high above. Youre simply down in the center of the city, standing idly.

Oskar looks around in a panic. Drath, I already knew you were a freak, but what the fuck is all this?

The fairys eyes widen. Nothat man is absolutely insane!

You cross your arms. This is rather normal behavior for Sir Drath.

She squeezes your mouth. You do not understand. Hell vowed not to touch the moon. And for a good reason. Its--

Suddenly, the ground shakes. A piece of the moon crumbles. Within moments, the piece that crumbled off turns into a familiar bright twinkle. The sky starts to brighten up with a red hue even though it is far from daytime.

Oskar cracks his knuckles. Seriously, Drath, what are you doing?!

Im doing what the Moon God has asked of me.

Okay, well, stop that.

Drath laughs. Nothing can stop this now. He looks at Oskar with resignation. Its been an honor, boy.

You stare straight into this twinkle. You feel a hint of nostalgia welling up within you. Eventually, that nostalgia bubbles up into a vivid image of two cavemen eating berries together. Youve never met either of them, but you feel like youve known them forever.

Wishing Rock the words escape out of your mouth. ...you make a wish, and the twinkly rock will carry it to the heavens

Oskar glares at you. Wishing Rock? The hell is that? And how the hell are you so calm about this?!

You hear something reminiscent of words from Oskar, but dont register any of them. Your gaze remains fixed on the twinkle.

What do you wish for? (Influences your starting conditions in the next life)

A) A break (Regain your desires)
B) To keep your staff safe (Retain your strength)
C) To keep your fathers legacy (Retain what your father has taught you)

bump2

yes but not as bad as Kelvin

bump

Kircheis posted...

@nikko004 I've been curious for a while now, what's your process for writing these CYOAs? Like, are you outlining all possible scenarios with each update or are you mostly winging it?

I have a very mixed process. Sometimes I have a set plan on major story beats to hit (i.e. the meteor in the Caveman era was inevitable, or the time travel thing in that 'you are a normal person' CYOA), but in getting there I'm usually winging it.

Other times I'm scrambling around and letting the story write itself so to speak, until I develop enough to extrapolate some target major story beats
And other times I just say 'random bullshit go' and treat it like a DnD campaign lol, in times like this I always try to go as ridiculous as possible and think of a list of possible outcomes, and usually discard the most obvious one to keep it interesting

As for choices whenever I put each one in, I imagine a quick summary of what would happen if that choice was chosen, but the details are extremely fuzzy until I actually start writing for it. Other times I have no idea where it'd go and I just bang my head trying to figure it out. Usually I try to predict which choice would be the most likely to be chosen and plan around that. Sometimes I get stuck figuring out what should happen next and then I go "oh wait I can take advantage of the CYOA format and let everyone else decide that"

A) Smack him now

You grip your staff tightly and take a nice hefty horizontal swing at Warren, decapitating him. The rest of his body collapses like a ragdoll.

The red fairy panics and flies over to his head that just flew across the room. She tries to lift the head up and bring it back to his body.

Meanwhile, you walk over to Oskar who is still flopping like a fish. Wanderer Oskar, you should no longer be under a spell.

Oskars wiggling slowly comes to a stop, and his face fills with embarrassing dread. You uh, did you see any of that?

Do not worry Wanderer Oskar, I did not see you dancing poorly, as that warlock described it.

He gets up and lets out the heaviest sigh. Just kill me now.

I do not see what good that will do, but if you wish--

Oskar panics and pushes your staff down. No no no that was a joke! Good grief. He looks over to Warrens headless body.

The fairy finally reaches said body and plops the head on top of it. The head rolls off, causing the fairy to panic again.

Oskar scratches his head. Sohes dead, right? Can he be dead? I heard vampires were in the class of undeads, like zombies.

You cross your arms. We can always ask the throne if he is satisfied.

Right. Well, do we just uh, leave him here then?

[ Double choice: What to do with the body? ]
A) Take it with you (Maybe Drath could use him)
B) Leave it here

[ What to do with the red fairy? ]
1) Take her with you
2) Leave her here
3) Kill her too

bump

C) Oskar and Gregor, do a funny little dance.

Against Oskars will, he starts dancing like a jester. Not very well, mind you; its reminiscent of a fish flopping out of water.

Youremain still.

Warren raises an eyebrow. Gregor, I said, do a funny little dance.

No movement from you.

Curious. Ive never seen anyone resist being fully controlled.

The red fairy flies up to his ear and whispers something.

What? Hes still being fully controlled? That is clearly not the case here!

More whispers from her.

Warren lights up. Oh! Great idea. Gregor, you may now speak to me about why you are not following my commands.

Your body remains frozen, but your mouth is now able to move. You clear your throat. Ahem. Hello.

Yes yes, hello. Well, out with it now. Why do you not do a funny little dance?

I do not understand. What makes a dance funny or little?

Warren stares with confusion. You know. Its.well, funny. Just look at your friend over there, do you not see how funny his dance is? One of the worst Ive seen and Ive lived for centuries!

So I just dance poorly?

Er, not necessarily, but it certainly helps.

It is not helping me. I am not any closer to understanding what makes a dance funny or little.

Warren pulls on his hair. Are you daft? Just dance already!

You remain still.

Why is this so difficult for you?!

My father has never taught me anything about dancing.

Its really not that difficult! You just move your legs!

You oblige and reposition your legs so your knees are now more bent.

Oh, fantastic. You barely moved!

Correct. I moved my legs.

One of the veins on Warrens forehead starts throbbing. The red fairy whispers to him again. What?! If he doesnt follow any commands, well eventually lose control? Preposterous! This is the first Im hearing of this!

She whispers more.

Okay, yes, this is indeed the first time weve encountered someone this idiotic. But what am I supposed to do about that, pray tell?!

More whispering.

Warren sighs. Alright, but trying again would be a fools errand. Gregor, do a funny little dance. Its funny because it would amuse me. Andgo!

You remain still.

Warren stomps on the ground.

During his temper tantrum, you can feel control over your limbs coming back to you. It doesnt look like Warren has noticed, though. What do you do?

A) Smack him now
B) Continue pretending to be under control to see what else Warren does