Arcanine – Best Ever
Vaporeon – Mermaid Cat
Scyther – Coolest Design
Wartortle – Consistently Underrated
Articuno – Ice Hawk
Squirtle – Best Starter
Dragonair – Elegant Serpent
Sandslash – Legit Awesome
Kadabra – Versatile Teammate
Haunter – Looks Ghostly
Nidoking – His Higness
Mewtwo – Objective Best
Alakazam – Epic 'Stache
Raichu – Superior Chu
Lapras – Plesiosaurs Rock
Poliwhirl – Toriyama's Favorite
Snorlax – Bear Cat
Cloyster – Literal V*****
Kabutops – Best Fossil
Ivysaur –Pretty Flower
Vulpix – Cutest Pokémon
Mew – TM Slave
Hitmonchan – Jackie's Namesake
Gengar – Dark Clefable
Dragonite – Hello Barney!
Zapdos – Eats Ermines
Gyarados – Always Angry
Rapidash – Really Fast
Ninetales – Scary Ghost
Tentacruel – Wrong Name
Meowth – Anime Helps
Diglett – What's Underground?
Growlithe – Fluffy Puppy
Rhydon – Rhyperior = Turd
Electabuzz – Best Bro
Charizard – Consistently Overrated
Sandshrew – Totally Adorbs
Clefairy – Highschool Sweetheart
Jolteon – Spiky Jackal
Pidgeot – Plain Useful
Pikachu – Series Mascot
Marowak – Bone Club
Hypno – Pretty Shiny
Hitmonlee – Bruce's Namesake
Psyduck –Misty's Nightmare
Bellsprout – Kung Fu!
Cubone – Misses Mommy
Missingno. – Mixed Bag
Persian – Pretty Kitty
Pidgeotto – Ash Left...
Charmander – Cute lizard
Parasect – Worth Hassle
Nidorina – First Shiny!
Abra – Always Flees
Golem – Not Gollum
Vileplume – Sunny Day
Butterfree – Why, Ash?
Blastoise – Prevos Better
Oddish – Cute Weed
Arbok – Jessie's Best
Magnemite – Oddly Cute
Shellder – Silly Face
Nidorino – I Like
Clefable – Clefairy Better
Aerodactyl – Big Mouth
Kabuto – Horseshoe Crab
Dewgong – Not BOSS
Poliwrath – Don't Evolve
Spearow – Angry Bird
Omastar – Disco King!
Bulbasaur – Never Picked
Beedrill – Has Fans
Kingler – Probably Tasty
Slowpoke – It's.............................................. slow
Kangaskhan – Needs Baby
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Cookies and cream! And cookies!