ngirl had woken up with a shirt. That was all she apparently had in terms of weaponry - a shirt. She was at least glad that said shirt was actually a football shirt, that of her native Newcastle, but as a weapon it had virtually no relevance or importance whatsoever.
She took in her surroundings. She had woken up in a back alley in a condensed part of the city's downtown area, and had no clue where to even start. Where were her enemies? Who could she kill? How could she kill them with such a bad weapon?
She began to move out of the alley when an incredibly loud sound of ABSOLUTE DESTRUCTION met her ears. She comically retraced her steps, stumbling backwards towards the alley's back wall.
Blairville had arrived in the downtown area and he was swinging his loooooooongsword around. No, that's not a euphemism. The loooooooongsword was about 20 feet loooooooong and as a result, buildings and benches and fire hydrants and such were being completely wrecked every time he swung it from side to side. He giggled at his destruction.
ngirl ducked behind a bin. She had no hope of mastering a man with such a huge weapon - it would simply be impossible for her to make any contact with him without being penetrated by it. However, as soon as she saw Blairville pass him her mind inexplicably began to kick into overdrive and she thought up a lot of offensive things about Blairville's past life.
"His dick is so small
His dick is so SMAALLLL
Poor little Blairville
his dick is so small"
She sang it as loudly as she could. It was true, as well, and Blairville knew it. That was why he had been so happy to receive this weapon. He turned towards the sound angrily.
Sadly, dowolf was also in that area of downtown. The building he had been in when he killed BadlyBrokenBallstime was right next to the alley ngirl had woken up in, though she did not know it. He had also turned towards the source of the sound, looking out of the window for it. He saw Blairville, but it was too late. When Blairville turned, the loooooongsword completely obliterated the foundations of the building, causing it to collapse.
One of the columns of the building crushed dowolf's head, killing him.
The building collapsed. Ngirl quickly jumped into the large, dumpster-style bins she had been hiding behind and got inside. The rubble rolled off the slanted edge of the bin , leaving her untouched and able to get out.
On the other side of the rubble, Blairville looked angrily at what he had done. He wanted revenge on the woman who had insulted him so. He yanked his sword out of the rubble and held it off to the side, reaching far up the block so it was level with the next street.
Walking down said street was GANON, who casually walked by. "ooh, a sword," he said. He touched it without stopping and moved on. Here's another terrible picture to illustrate the situation.
Suddenly the sword was made of solid gold, and impossible to lift. Blairville was yanked downwards, the sword once so easily wielded now a deadweight in his hand. His shoulder was dislocated but that was the least of his worries, as a screaming ngirl leapt from the rubble to ambush him.
Blairville could not defend himself quick enough and ngirl wrapped her legs around his neck, suffocating him to death slowly. As he died, ngirl chanted about how Blairville's dad had a job washing elephants and about how his mother didn't even wear LIPSTICK
Blairville's anger and frustration subsided, as did every other thought in his body as life ebbed out of him. He ded, lol
--
Also known as the Sarlacc.