Chapter 10
Haguile had been the last competitor to wake up. He was quite comfortable, since he was in the master bedroom of a large, uptown mansion. Minio ran through "The Speech" pretty quickly, because she was involved in an intense game of Chess with Comm. Every time she lost a piece she took a sip of wine, which enraged her sober-for-far-too-long employee.
Haguile nodded to himself. "Alright...gotta kill people." He looked at his weapon.
Except he didn't have one.
"UHHHH, KITTEN THING. YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME A WEAPON."
Minio casually took about 4 of Comm's pieces in one move. Comm thought about protesting about this blatant cheating, but decided against it. With her tail she pressed the intercom, saying "dude your weapon is in the en suite of that room you're in. Now shut up and kill," she added angrily, shocking Haguile.
After he had recovered, he said "oh". Haguile rolled out of bed, stretched a bit and moved towards the en suite bathroom.
Inside he had quite a shock. Sitting there on the toilet lid was...a basketball! But it had eyes and a mouth. "Oh hi. You must be Haguile," said the basketball.
Haguile yelped. "YELP!" yelped a yelping Haguile.
"Yes, yes, I'm a basketball. But I was once human."
Haguile was silent.
"I was a human, and I was killed by this clown called JeffreyRaze. Or so I thought, because next thing I knew I had been reincarnated here. As a basketball. I saw myself in the mirror."
"We-well...can you move on your own?"
"Yes, but that cat told me I wasn't allowed to until you saw me. Now you've seen me, I can GO KILL HIM!"
"Wait, who?"
"JeffreyRaze, of course!"
Suddenly BBallman bounced high off the toilet lid and bounced past Haguile, out of the en suite door and out of the window.
Unfortunately for Robazoid, he had been walking by at just this moment. He looked up, but BBallman was hitting the ground with such force that Roba never stood a chance. BBall landed on Robazoid's head, decapitating him. BBall COULD have moved, but then thought he might as well eliminate one more non-JeffRaze competitor to ensure he actually saw JeffRaze soon.
Minio pressed another button with her tail as Comm took her rook. This annoyed her - she had not seen it coming. She took an extra-long gulp of wine and then some vodka as a kind of "punishment" for Comm.
The button acted as a sort of slingshot, and BBallman bounced up from Robazoid's dead body completely on his own.
"Noooo you don't," said Minio to both of them. "You two have to stick together. Gotta play fair!"
"FAIR? MY WEAPON IS A PSYCHOTIC, REINCARNATED BASKETBALL!" screamed Haguile. He got a shock for his efforts and Minio said nothing more, since Comm had put her in Check. She moved out of it by putting her Rook back on the table and taking two more of his pieces with it. Comm scowled.
* * *
Cody grinned. eddv stood no chance against him and his Omega Quack-O-Blitzer.
Yes, they had both woken up on neighbouring lawns which gave eddv some kind of home-field advantage, but he had a huge f***ing lazer gun thing and eddv didn't. Eddv threw some darts at cody, which cody dodged easily. Even if they had hit him, they wouldn't have had much effect.
When eddv stopped throwing, cody smiled. "You about done?" he fired at eddv. Who didn't die.
Rather he was transformed into an odd duck/phoenix hybridg, or "ducknix". Ed-ducknix's mind was intact but his body was out of his control, as he took up a position directly behind cody. Cody, surprised at this turn of events, reached behind him for edDucknix but he was just out of his reach. Cody span around, but Duckdv moved around him at the same pace, always just a couple of feet behind cody no matter what he did.
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