[Rad Link 5 comes out to the ring, holding a microphone and a mysterious bag. He keeps shooting his head to the left and the right in a seemingly paranoid fashion.]
...
[He starts to open his mouth but slowly closes it and turns to the right, taking another look around.]
... Last week...
[Rad Link stops again and does a 180 to look around some more. He squints and grimaces, looking for something in the crowd.]
... This feels oddly familiar...
... Last week at King of the Board, I made an informal request to the GMs to give me a match against a bear at Summer Spectacular. In the days since, the UCA has been rocked by scandal after scandal. Top competitors using alts, people being ambushed and kidnapped by a cheater trying to keep his identity secret, users not getting paid, limos and church communities being destroyed, controversial title changes and vote counts... I could go on, but the point is I guess I shouldn't be surprised that I haven't received an official response, yet.
Well the truth is, I don't care about any of that. I fear no alt. I fear no Rally Man! I don't drive a limo, I don't go to church, and I don't have... a title.
In fact, I've never had a title. I've never even been given a title opportunity. So then, would somebody tell me what kind of sick joke this is? Prove that I deserve an InterBoardinental title shot?! Prove that I should be a Heavyweight?! Do you think I care about these things right now, Tom?! Do you think you're funny, Tom?!
Tonight, I'm going to have a clean and fair match with my good friend Dante to try and help him regain his memory. I want to assure him that he can trust me to help him remember. That is the kind of selfless man I am. I am going to help my good friend even as my very life is in danger.
Which brings me back to you, Tom.
[Rad Link looks at the bag he is holding.]
I'm waiting for an answer. I want a bear at Summer Spectacular. I want for this nightmare to end. I need to face my enemy and defeat him once and for all, and once I've done that, I am going to force the name of the man behind all of this out of that beast. But you're the one in charge, Tom. That's why I need your word that this match will happen. I have faith in you to do the right thing, Tom.
[Rad Link reaches in the bag and pulls out a magnet.]
... But I'm a desperate man. And if I don't get what I want? I might... well, I might just do something stupid, Tom.
[Rad Link smiles and places the magnet back in the bag.]
BECAUSE I'M RAD LINK 5!
]... That... that tree...
]That... that's my tree! That tree is right outside my-!
[Rad Link 5 drops the microphone and looks around in a panic, scouting the entire audience. After getting a good look all around, he makes a break for an exit and escapes the ring.]
--
Ace Detective in Sir Chris' Police
http://i51.tinypic.com/2dqowae.jpg