NOW for a very special trainwreck episode of IMPACT
Pre-show: Stacy hypes the Direwolves (64); Dragons d. Cor Von/Taylor (55, heels poor team chem); Slaughter awkwardly compliments the Dragons while Tajiri explains that it is 2011 and we don't use racial language of this sort (61)
-Styles and Abyss are in the ring to kick off the show. Styles is still disturbed by Daivari, but realizes he's beyond help after fighting him last week. He is set on stopping Slater and his vaguely evil ways. Abyss just wants to kill Morrison. Cabana couldn't be here tonight, but they're going to take care of bidness in the ME!
Rating: 75
-Match: Rock'n'Roll Express v. Wild Samoans
Things are just not going well for the Samoans of late, and they are visibly frustrated by their lack of success in this match. RnR get the win.
Rating: 62
-AAE and Sabu are out. (Awesome's in Japan tonight) They mention their backup plan for Bubba Ray...and bring out SIMON DIAMOND. This ECW stable is getting more and more tenuous.
Rating: 46
-Cruiserweight Title: Sabu (c) v. Kazarian
With his new enforcer at his side, Sabu....gets owned pretty badly and jobs to a whiffed elbow from Diamond.
Rating: 61
-Diamond gets on the stick and agrees that this stable is carrying lots of deadweight. He and Estrada put Sabu t'rew a tayble. Nobody gives a damn.
Rating: 30
-#1 Contender: Garvin and Shango v. Faces of Fear
It's clear that Garvin and Shango aren't quite the same as the Freebirds, and then Gordy runs in on Garvin to seal the deal.
Rating: 65
-Strike Force come out and announce that they didn't wanna wait until Ultimatum....so they've challenged Priceless to a match TONIGHT.....and the losing individual will leave the company!
Rating: 56
-No DQ Loser Leaves Town: Strike Force v. Priceless
These matches would have more suspense if I didn't spoil departures in the news section! Santana submits Dibiase Jr. after a hard battle. Cody is distraught.
Rating: 72
-Jesse Barr is in the ring to call out Guerrero. He's his own man now! Guerrero comes out and laughs him off, calling him a disgrace, a total failure, and a disgrace to the Barr family. He slaps Jesse in the face, but just then ART BARR makes his return to the fed, and tells Eddie to back off his bro. Art doesn't want trouble between them, so it'd be best if Eddie just leaves. Guerrero is shocked, but backs down for the time being.
Rating: 58
-Match: Styles/Abyss v. MNM v. Following
Following continue to look menacing, rolling to a win here with only minimal help from Daivari.
Rating: 83
Post-show: HAIL SLATER (71); AMW d. Gordy/Bubba, Speed Muscle to retain (43)
Overall: 72 SUCCESS lol angles
Rating: 3.25
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~Tommeri Uranius Bombaldi the Fourth, esq.
(aka not Krakenprophet)