GOD
5 Answering Stan's question about why he isn't having a period in "Are You There, God? It's Me, Jesus"
4 Making sure Saddam's not building any weapons in the sky at the end of "A Ladder to Heaven"
3 Declaring Mormons were the only correct religion in "Probably"
MINTBERRY CRUNCH
2 Insulting his goth-sister in "Coon VS Coon & Friends"
GNOMES
1 Stealing underpants from Tweek in "Gnomes"
HM's:
GRANPA MARSH
Winning America's Funniest Home Videos in "Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut"
BEBE STEVENS
Growing breasts in "Bebe's Boobs Destroy Society"
PIP PIRRUP
Losing his temper to make him excellent at dodgeball in "Conjoined Fetus Lady"
PRINCIPAL VICTORIA
Convincing Wendy to fight Cartman in "Breast Cancer Show"
DARRYL WEATHERS
Ranting about how goobacks took their jobs, first seen in "Goobacks"
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Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.