As for the stuff in dead mans party, both sides were right and wrong. I don't think one side was being "more of a jerk". They both had reasons for feeling the way they felt, and both could have handled things better. You can't just up and leave, without saying anything, and expect everyone to be okay with that or understand your situation. And while maybe her friends were a little harsh, it is best that they get their feelings out, and it isn't like they stop being her friend. That is how real friendships work.
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I'm "kind of a big deal".
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