CHAPTER 37: The Grand Design, Part II
Machete burst into the room, along with a few others.
"TRAITORRRRRR!" Yelled Caelus, pointing his finger at Machete in a Phoenix Wright Objection pose.
"I'M the traitor?! YOU are the one who has been serial killing all of your alts!" Accused Machete.
"What?! No I haven't! I thought YOU were the one doing that!" Argued Caelus.
Machete looked puzzled and turned to a character who appeared to be the boss of the operation that Caelus, his alts and Ulti worked for. "He's lying! Read his mind!"
Caelus panicked. "No, wait, Mr. God! Don't read my mind!"
It was too late, as Caelus' boss, a fellow by the name of Mr. God was already reading Caelus' mind. He soon hmmm'd to himself. "Machete, Caelus is NOT lying. Neither of you is responsible for the killing of the alts. However, you were right about him smuggling his subjects into our world."
(NOTE: This Mr. God is of no relation to the 'Mr. God' character on that one episode of South Park)
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"Uh oh... something isn't right here," said Genesis nervously as a probe-like thing disappeared.
"Yeah I saw that too," agreed L3fty. "It was a probe that looked like too eyeballs next to each other with a large, accusatory finger pointing out from them..."
"I think it looked like a dick and balls," exclaimed Maniac. He was right. It did sort of look like that.
"I think someone far more powerful than Caelus was just reading Caelus' mind... and saw us all in here," said Justin with a gulp.
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"HA!" Snapped Machete. "Why would you do that, Caelus? You know that's against the rules!"
Caelus shrugged casually. "Whatever. I felt like explaining to the lucky winner of this project what this project was all about... before killing him or her. No harm done."
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'NO HARM DONE!' YOU BROKE A RULE!" Bellowed Mr. God. "YOU KNOW WE DON'T TOLERATE RULE BREAKING! YOU SUPERVISE LIFE AND DEATH IN A WORLD BELOW OURS AND YOU DO A BAD JOB OF IT ALREADY... AND NOW YOU DEFY OUR RULES?!? YOU SIGNED A CONTRACT!"
"Yeah but that's not my real signature," chuckled Caelus.
"UNBELIEVABLE!" Boomed Mr. God. He reached into Caelus' mind and pulled something out. There was a bright flash as a life was instantly extinguished. One of the participants had been pulled out into the "outside" world and was instantly vaporized/incinerated.
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"ACK!" Gasped Justin. "Where'd L3fty go? He just disappeared!"
"I think that dick probe might have got him!" Stated Maniac. That might have been the most rational thing he's ever said.
"Oh noes!" Cried Genesis. "Welp, it's down to just the three of us, guys..."
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"Damn it! You didn't have go and do THAT!" Growled Caelus.
"HE WOULD HAVE DIED AT THAT EXACT MOMENT ANYWAY! YOU KNOW THAT!" Screamed Mr. God.
"Yeah but you didn't have to reach into my mind... that's like... sexual harassment or whatever," replied Caelus.
"ENOUGH! You will now be PUNISHED for violating a rule!" Yelled Mr. God.
"What? No way, man," said Caelus.
"YES WAY! IT IS THE RULES!" Argued Mr. God. He attempted to punish Caelus but nothing happened. "Hey wait, what's going on?"
"I don't GET punished is what's going on. I don't accept punishment. It doesn't exist to me," explained Caelus.
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I never said anything about banging her. Also, I wouldn't bang her. -LusterSoldier (on a fat pageant mom whose daughter chugs Mt. Dew)