SMACKDOWN
Wk. 1, 12/11
Pre-show: Cody complains about the IC Title match not making SurSer (71); Bryan won at SurSer just like he's gonna win at Mania. Best in the World. (80); SDR/Gail d. Tamina/Rosa (49)
-HHH is here to continue celebrating his team's win! He DOES however think that it's too much to be CoO AND run both shows, so he's here to introduce the new GM of SD! And no, much as he likes the little guy, HHH thinks Teddy Long's time is past. He would however like to bring out...THE ROCK! Rock comes out and does catchphrases for a while.
Rating: 92
-Awesome Truth immediately make their way out to the ring to whine about this decision, but Rock suggests they shut the mouths and know the roles. He hasn't figured out what to do with them yet, but wonders if he shouldn't just fire them! The fans don't seem to like them, and nobody likes losers. They'd better do something very impressive very soon. Christian interrupts to suck up. He wants ONE MORE MATCH for the title, and also Sheamus traded to Raw. Rock has ALREADY had enough of all these jabronis, so he books them against Orton/Taker/Sheamus!
Rating: 88
-Match: Bryan v. Carlito
Pretty straightforward, with Bryan getting the win and keeping his momentum going.
Rating: 71
-Henry comes out to ringside. He's pretty bored. Ryder wasn't enough of a challenge for him, so he has come up with a little game. He has no idea what match is next, but whoever wins it, he'll put the belt up against them immediately afterwards! He shoves Striker out of his seat to join on commentary.
Rating: 79
-Impromptu #1 Contender Match
First out is Mordecai, accompanied by Edwards. Henry scoffs at such puny competition, theorizing that he got lucky. His opponent is THE GREAT KHALI. Henry stops scoffing as Mordecai gets BRAIN CHOP'D into oblivion.
Rating: 48
-Khali celebrates in the ring as he is wont to do, but Henry smashes him from behind with a chair! It takes a few more strikes to fell the giant, but down Khali goes. Henry continues beating him until it's obvious he's no longer in fighting shape. Guess he wins the title match by forfeit!
Rating: 82
-Match: AJ/Hart Dynasty v. Natalya/Husky/Young
Hart Dynasty seem to feel a bit awkward about fighting Natalya, even while she's screaming at them. They're perfectly fine, however, beating up the random heel men pairing, and AJ is soon able to secure the win.
Rating: 58
-Match: Zeke v. Cara II
Sin Cara II is able to outmaneuver his opponent and pick up the win.
Rating: 59
-Sin Cara comes out and POINTS. Cara II doesn't react.
Rating: 64
-IC Title: Cody (c) v. Yoshi
Both men pull out all the stops, but tonight Rhodes has more in the tank.
Rating: 67
-Match: Usos v. Haas/Dibiase
Haas might be on to something here with his quest for a new tag partner! He and Ted are able to roll over the poor Usos.
Rating: 56
-Ryder cuts a very disappointed promo backstage. He wanted to win the belt for all the fans that supported him, but he failed. He finally got the big opportunity, and he failed. Chavo interrupts him to call him a disgrace. Chavo has to fight tooth and nail for any chance he can get, and Ryder gets one handed to him and he whines because he blew it? Disgusting.
Rating: 73
-Match: Sheamus v. Brodus
The Celtic Warrior is able to extract a bit of vengeance on the not-funkasaurus.
Rating: 77
-Sheamus is still in the ring when Wade Barrett comes out! For no apparently reason, he attacks the tired Sheamus...and then puts him t'rew the announce tayble!
Rating: 84
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~Tommeri Uranius Bombaldi the Fourth, esq.
If you can read this, I'm probably posting from my phone or something!