RAW
Wk. 2, 12/11
Pre-show: Gabriel tells HHH he can beat Del Rio (80); nWo are going to take their defeat gracefully, but not lying down (100 lulz); JTG squashed Curtis (46)
-HHH opens us up by calling out the nWo again. They did okay last week in their matches, but he can't have them running around causing chaos. Punk is out to plead that they'd settle down for a title shot! HHH categorically refuses. Punk encourages him to think of his buddy Nash. HHH softens a bit, and mentions that he WAS thinking of having Del Rio defend tonight against somebody or other....he'll give Nash a shot IF Punk can win a street fight right now!
Rating: 92
-Street Fight: Dreamer v. Punk
Dreamer has the element of surprise, the momentum, and a much better familiarity with the environment. On the other hand, Punk.....is Punk. Dreamer makes a match of it but comes up short in the end.
Rating: 74
Dreamer doesn't like being put in Brawl based matches. >_> It's the only thing you can do besides hardcore, dude.
-HHH comes out applauding. He will give Nash a shot...And X-Pac a shot! Both of them the same shot. They're fighting Air Boom later. He trollfaces at Punk.
Rating: 82
-Match: Santino and Kelly v. Masters and Serena
nWo pick up another win here.
Rating: 63
-Match: Trish and Melissa d. Bella Twins
Rating: 56
-ZigSwag and Vickie are backstage yukking it up that they got the win in the 6-man last week. ZigSwag are a WAY better tag team than Air Boom, and should add their tag titles to Ziggler's US strap! And that leaves the WWE Title for Swagger!
Rating: 72
-Match: Riley and Ryan v. Reks and Hawkins
Reks and Hawkins get another solid win.
Rating: 54
-Reks and Hawkins go for a post-match beatdown, but the save is made by OTUNGACUTTY :O
Rating: 55
Otungacutty's turns were a complete success
-Match: Slater d. Primo
Rating: 65
-Match: Parka v. Sheffield
Sheffield's reign of terror continues, although La Parka comes closer to competing than Primo and Drew did.
Rating: 58
Great chem.
-Nash and X-Pac aren't terribly amused by the bait and switch HHH pulled, but they're okay with it. They don't mind squashing some midgets. Air Boom come out to remind them that they ARE the tag champs for a reason, and underestimating them would be a pretty bad idea!
Rating: 68
-Tag Titles: Air Boom (c) v. The Band
Quite even match. ZigSwag come out to ringside, and start an argument with Bourne! Bourne hits an SSP from the apron, but this leaves Kofi alone for what should've been a hot tag, and instead Kofi winds up taking the Jacknife for the three count! We have new tag champs!
Rating: 69
-Cena comes out with no music. He says he's tired. For years, he's done everything he could to please the fans, but it was never good enough. No matter how many sick kids he visited, no matter how many titles he won, no matter how many catchphrases he used, no matter how hard he worked to improve himself. It was never good enough. And all Morrison has to do is win a stupid tag match? Cena's done trying to win the crowd over. He's going back to RUTHLESS AGGRESSION, and screw anybody who doesn't like it. Morrison comes out, and indeed doesn't like it. He claims Cena's been handed everything. Morrison EARNED that shot last week by saving the entire WWE, and then Cena had to butt in where he wasn't welcome or needed. Morrison says that Cena is a sad, pathetic man who's turning his back on everything that makes him great. Morrison shakes his head and leaves Cena speechless in the ring.
Rating: 94
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~Tommeri Uranius Bombaldi the Fourth, esq.
If you can read this, I'm probably posting from my phone or something!