From: Haguile | Posted: 3/22/2012 8:38:54 PM | #447
Read this because goddamit DANGAN RONPA:
The nine alive players remaining all stared at each other—with the exception of Maria, who was present through a walkie talkie—as the trial drew to a close. Things were heating up, and it was Regaro who took the first shot.
“I declare,” he said proudly, “that my lion killed that damn Dexter who killed my lion. They died killing each other. SCREW YOU DEXTER!”
Correct. Dexter's death happened via no culprit/lion.
Now, they were at a slightly more complicated murder. Who had poisoned Biscuit, the greatest wrestler in the world? Nobody knew. For a while, it seemed as though the truth would be forever lost, but then...
“SCOOBY DOOBIE DOO!”
All eyes turned to the one and only Dog Detective.
“Scooby knows the answer! This is how it went! Last night, the serial killer dressed like a monster—“
“Wait, what?” asked Spiral, also known as Shaggy for some bizarre reason.
“Then Fred laid out some traps—“
“What,” said KP.
“Then he poisoned the water bottle and Scooby Doobie Biscuit drank it!”
“Oh.”
“Isn't that right...”
“MR. KCF, KFC, THE CYANIDE CHICKEN?”
KCF crumbles upon his own guilt, screaming out his last words.
“"My only regrets are not winning that Best Pool Modification Award and not spending more time with Mr. Boneeeeeeeeees!”
Then, Scooby glances at everyone and howls, “SCOOBY DOOBIE DOOOOOO!”
“Well done Scoob,” says Regaro. “You deserve a Scooby Snack. Hell, a whole box.”
Then, they turned back to the final killer. They didn't know who it was, so it was time to vote. They all went down, one by one. Spiral fell down, dead. Regaro fell down, dead. Their votes were killing them one by one...
“Ahhhh it's useless, it's all useless!”
All eyes turned to Kamikaze.
“This isn't over! HERE'S MY BLUE TRUTH!”
“Wrong gam—“
“SCREW YOU I'LL BLUE TRUTH YOUR ASS IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP YOU BEAR. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED: Ryoko was alive for the first four days...she was killed [i]during[/i] the trial! THAT'S RIGHT! THAT'S HOW THAT IMPOSSIBLE ALIBI EXISTED! The spider-woman climbed to the second floor and remained hidden for a long time. Then, during her missing trial, the culprit found her and stabbed her in the heart. The proof of this is her time of death. The stiffness in the body, the body showing up inside the washing machine, rigor mortis...It all indicates the same thing! Isn't that right?”
KP stumbled toward the corridor, the injuries from the lion and etc getting to him. Then, with a heroic effort, he pointed dramatically at the killer. It seemed as though he, crippled by the lion, wouldn't be able to continue. However, Solfadore, suffering from the cyanide, held him up! Then, the two walked up toward the first floor...
“Isn't that right...MARIA?”
“Oh well,” said Maria, laughing like an evil maniac. “Looks like I have been found out. Too bad your friends died because they trusted me too much. HO. HO HO.”
“You are not Santa. Also why are you naked?”
“And you are not Batman. And why not?”
“Shut up. This...this isn't over!”
“Oh, it is over alright,” said Maria, turning back and walking away from the scene. “ I have graduated, you know. Maybe, since I'm apparently a master criminal and you are a master detective, we'll meet again in the future. Maybe.”
Maria left, leaving behind KP and Solfadore, who struggled to use the medical kit that just baerly arrived on time to save his own life. All of a sudden, Monobear appears.
“Well, you are one of this game's winners. What is your wish?”
“...I get a wish?”
“...Sure why not.”
“I WANT...