LogFAQs > #979351975

When I was a kid my family was lazy-theist (church on Sunday and Catholic holidays, but no greater worship or praying outside of that in the household) and in my own personal life I never felt like there was some deity who loved me/gave them a reason to revere/worship them. As I got older and started to learn the logical arguments against it, it just solidified my non-belief.

I guess I'll say that in my mid teenage years I was desperately pleading in prayer, hoping that I was wrong, for some sort of relief of this pain I've had on a daily basis since middle school, obviously no answer was given and no pain was relieved.

The one thing I thank it for as is a 5 & 6 year old "gay lord" was my go-to insult (it was the 90s, calling people gay was a common insult, especially among stupid kids) and I learned that it might violate the commandment of "taking the lord's name in vain", which seemed like an easy commandment to correct myself on. I actually so committed to it that I don't use any common phrases based off religion that many other atheists/anti-theists use "oh my god", "Jesus Christ/Christ" (as an expression of exasperation) "holy shit", "god damnit", etc. My vocabulary naturally evolved without ever incorporating that into my typical vernacular. Now it's weird to me as an anti-theist when I see atheists/anti-theists use those phrases seemingly without thinking about it as they're products of their environment and seem to just accept it.

It's especially ironic that I follow that commandment as an anti-theist more ardently than most theists.