LogFAQs > #984504400

Karo:
This is an old 1950s martian attack film, complete with an overdramatic narrator who describes every scene like he is doing a dubbing for the visually impaired, in a sad yet ultimately futile attempt to get people to take the movie seriously.
Basically the galactic neighborhood is concerned about how the human invention of the atomic bomb could lead to the development of the 'solornite bomb', a device that could end the universe by detonating light particles. If you say that that sounds remarkably scientifically feasible for a movie of this dubious caliber, don't you worry, things will implode shortly in a catastrophic manner.
For in response, the aliens decide to execute the titular Plan 9, which involves raising the Earth's dead and creating an army of zombies (plus Bela Lugosi because lol). Why do they need a bunch of shambling corpses to subjugate Earth when they are an intergalactic spacefaring civilization? Who the fuck knows.
It honestly feels like a couple of secretaries collided with each other while carrying the pages of two different scripts and this was their attempt to try and put everything back together. The special effects are of course laughable, and sometimes the time of day even changes mid scene because lol.
Anyway the aliens lose because they spend most of their time trying to troll the earthlings rather than actually trying to win, and eventually just straight up just open the door of their flying saucer and let armed humans come onto it. It is just plain bad, and just utterly boring, and thankfully we are spared from hearing about any of the other 8 plans.

Suprak:
F

Im four movies in and Im spiraling into madness. I cant rank these things. I just spent an hour at my computer trying to figure out if Plan 9 From Outer Space was better or worse than this other incomprehensible movie and Ive lost the ability to determine what the hell I mean by better or worse. This movie is worse. So its better? But then this movie is better. So then that must be worse? The worse one of these movies are the better they get sometimes and sometimes something gets so dumb and awful that it becomes watchable again. Im not going to be able to rank anything here in any meaningful way. More than half of these movies are going to be Fs and Im going to have to determine what F is fun dumb and what F is not fun dumb and what that means.

Anyway, Plan 9 From Outer Space is the film that mightve finally broken me. It completely broken my brain from the start. From the beginning. Theres a guy that might be your drunk uncle yelling at you about the truth and how you need to hear it and you know hes about ten seconds away from demanding you listen to his theory about Pizzagate and Hillary Clinton. Then the movie starts and it shows a tombstone with a normal human name that is clearly the lead actor. The next name that appears on the tombstone is Vampira. Then it just moves on to more normal names like it didnt just drop a Vampira bomb in our lap. What the hell is a Vampira? I wondered to myself. And then that question is immediately answered because a woman shows up and she is the most Vampira looking woman I have ever seen in my life. Yeah, you know what? Vampira makes sense. Ethyl Wolcott wouldve been weird as hell for her so yeah lets just call her Vampira for some reason.

Ive lost track of how many times Ive brought this up now for these write-ups, but this is a movie that makes no sense. This is a movie that was put together with a Madlibs puzzle and a glass of NyQuil mixed with kerosine. The fundamental crux of this movie is this Plan 9 and I had to rewind it multiple times because I thought I had missed something. So, the plot, as far as I can tell, is that there are aliens. And these aliens want to warn humanity not to blow up the sun. But humanity keeps shooting at them and refusing to talk to them. So, to prove that theyre real, they decide to summon an army of undead zombies to march on the worlds capitals so people have to acknowledge their existence. Not the zombies existence mind you, but how the existence of that crazy thing proves the existence of a separate crazy thing (which is aliens). But then people are getting close to discovering their plans so they decide they need to kill them to keep them silent. Sothey want people to acknowledge their existence so they come up with a plan to alert people that theyre real but then people find out theyre real so in order to keep them silent from exposing that the aliens are real, they decide to kill them so they can silence them and move forward with their plan to get humans to acknowledge theyre real. Do you see the flaw in your plan there, aliens? Why are we killing the people who think youre real so they dont tell other humans youre real if your plan is to convince the humans youre real? Hell, just keep flying along the highway long enough and people will eventually figure things out. Stop being secretive and hiding in graveyards and maybe this whole thing will resolve itself.

Also, there are human characters in this movie and at no point did they do anything that wasnt the dumbest thing possible. These aliens are right. Humanity needs to be eradicated. Theres one part where the alien is like you humans cant have this technology youre too violent and stupid and the guy who I think is supposed to be the heroic lead of the movie responds by punching him in the face and wildly shooting at random pieces of equipment until everything is on fire. Call me violent will ya? That makes me so mad I COULD PUNCH YA! It isnt like the US government doesnt know what their intentions are. Theyre sending them messages and we have decoded them. The movie shows the army guys listen to the decoded messages. They are literally like hey please respond to our messages we know you can hear us and understand us and the whole universe is in grave danger please stop shooting at us and theyre just in the office rubbing their chin like hm I wonder what these idiot aliens are trying to tell us. They respond to their pleas by firing 2 solid minutes of stock footage of bombs at them. Am I supposed to be cheering for the humans at the end? Why? Why do I want these idiots to win?

No surprise with it being on this list, but this is also a really, really badly made movie. A lot of these movies feel cheep, but this feels like the cheapest of them all. This feels like it was made with a budget of help theyre repossessing my house and I actually have negative money. I could not tell what was going on with Bela Lugosi or Vampira in this movie but it looked like they had roughly 1 minute of footage of each that they were determined to stretch out into 10. I get the sense Vampira mightve gotten stuck in that bush she was hiding behind because I feel like that is the only framing we ever see of her. Bela Lugosi apparently died in 1956 and this movie came out in 1959 and honestly that makes sense based on what I just watched. It is equally likely they just used whatever footage they already had or they just dug up his grave to parade him around the set Weekend At Bernies style. Heres another thing: why are those two vampires? The cop is like a Frankenstein thing and those two are dressed up like straight up vampires. Was this initially a different movie? He was just a normal old man as far as I could tell so why did he come back as a vampire other than the fact he was known for being a vampire? And why is his wife so hot? Bela Lugosi looks like he is roughly dead years old, and she is like maybe 30. And theyre both vampires. Whywhy are the things the way they are in this movie?