LogFAQs > #984735700

https://theonion.com/russell-brand-invited-to-florida-college-to-teach-sexual-assault-workshop/

SARASOTA, FLAs part of an effort to expose the student body to a variety of cultural perspectives, the New College of Florida announced Thursday that it had invited English comedian and podcaster Russell Brand to teach a sexual assault workshop. Mr. Brand has an incredible range of experience he can share with both students and the local community alike, said New College of Florida president Richard Corcoran, adding that the school would be conferring an honorary degree upon the British actor, whom he lauded as a leading scholar in the field of nonconsensual studies. Hes a freethinker and a free-doer. Gifted young sex pests who would like to attend Touching Without Permission can register now. Mr. Brand has promised there will be plenty of hands-on experience. At press time, reports confirmed the college had been forced to postpone the workshop after new charges were filed against Brand in the state of Florida.

6 days later, actual headline:
https://www.wfla.com/news/local-news/manatee-county/former-new-college-official-accused-of-exposing-himself-to-mall-employees/

SARASOTA, Fla. (WFLA) A New College of Florida official and former spokesperson for Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis was arrested Tuesday and charged with exposure of sexual organs.
Fredrick Piccolo, Jr., 47, was arrested by the Manatee County Sheriffs Office on a warrant, according to jail records.
The warrant for Piccolos arrest alleged he exposed himself to a woman after stopping his car and asking for directions. He was charged with exposure of sexual organs (subsequent offense).
Piccolo was also accused of exposing himself to multiple people at department stores in the University Town Center Mall in Sarasota between Aug. 22 and Sept. 4 of last year, court records show.
On Aug. 22, he was alleged to have touched himself inappropriately in front of a Banana Republic employee at the fitting rooms. Sarasota County deputies described the incident as an unwelcomed act.
He was accused of exposing his genitals to two Dillards sales associates, also outside of a fitting room, on Sept. 3. The next day, the sheriffs office said he returned to the store and exposed himself to an employee, again at the fitting rooms.

We're living in a parody of the world.