LogFAQs > #880594056

Muffinz0rz posted...

both parties have agreed to terms of exclusivity, then one's level of investedness (not a word, I know) shouldn't matter. That's the point when it becomes cheating. One could argue that, in casual dating, i.e. going to dinner once or twice and maybe hooked up but haven't really "Defined the relationship," it wouldn't be considered cheating if either party went out and hooked up with someone else.

I guess so. Giving a false impression that you're in an exclusive relationship is needlessly hurtful but I haven't always gone out of my way to establish that I will not maintain interest if significant effort and exclusivity are required from me.

Muffinz0rz posted...

I just think that if either party even thinks this, it means that said party knows what they're doing is wrong. It's like when you want to shoplift a candy bar - you don't just pick it up and walk out. You look around first, survey the area, think to yourself, "is it likely I'll get caught?" based on employees walking around, good samaritans, etc - you know what you're doing is wrong if you have to think about your odds of getting caught.

That's not necessarily the case. Knowing it would be hurtful and actually thinking it's unjustifiable are different things. No player cares for everyone they have sex with but everyone cares for someone they're dating to at least some degree. Not wanting to hurt them is natural and people keep all kinds of secrets. Not all cheating is a scheduled affair that requires a lot of logical decisions either.

Muffinz0rz posted...

I agree. But that person shouldn't (and likely wouldn't) be dating anyone if they're just looking for notches.

Notch hunting and fulfilling companionship aren't opposing instincts or desires. Some people game hard because they can't form meaningful relationships with the opposite sex but that's not everyone. But banging around is really fun and monogamy is hard and kind of unnatural.