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TopicAnagram ranks 153 waifus nominated by Board 8: The Topic
Murphiroth
07/29/17 12:41:22 AM
#383:


Anagram posted...
109. Lady Maria
http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/bloodborne/images/8/88/Bloodborne%E2%84%A2_20151126093114.png/revision/latest?cb=20151126073203
Origin: Magic: Bloodborne
Nominator: Murphiroth (3/5 Remaining)
Looks: 85
Personality: 50
Projected Wife Capacity: 20
Overall Score: 51.3

Lady Maria is a boss in Bloodborne, a hunter who defected from her royal lineage, and a woman who tries to help horribly mutated people… maybe.

Maria has the second highest Looks so far, and I don’t think I need to justify that very much. One thing to note is that I hate Victorian aesthetics (it’s mostly because my distaste for steampunk has bled over), and she still manages to be very high. She manages to look gorgeous and very strong at the same time, and she ticks all of my personal boxes for attractiveness. If this was just about looks, Maria would be in the top ten.

So it’s implied that she has a gentle side in taking care of the mutated people in a particular area in the game, which is good, but Bloodborne’s ambiguity in storytelling means that she might also be responsible for it. And even if she’s not, the methods she uses to cure them are at best ineffective and at worst causing more damage. It’s also possible that she killed herself before you find her and that you’re fighting an undead version of her? Who knows. Either way, I can’t in good conscience give her a good Personality score, I just declared this to be a wash.

PWC-wise she is a mess. First she’s possibly undead, second she spends her time around people with crazy mutations that I don’t know if they’re contagious or not, third she spends the rest of her time slumped in a grimy throne in a hellhole, fourth her blood spontaneously combusts. Can you imagine dating a woman whose blood spontaneously combusts? You’ll just be talking about whatever, she accidentally bites the inside of her cheek while eating, and then four seconds later half of the restaurant is destroyed. No thanks.

Overall, Lady Maria would probably have been a lot better of a waifu if she’d taken a different path in life.


The amount of "maybe" in this is the best.

She might be a corpse. She might not even be real and might be a dream.

Bloodborne is stupid in the best way.
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