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| Topic | Board 8 Ranks 2010s Horror Movies - *THE RANKINGS* |
| Snake5555555555 05/16/22 1:23:59 PM #190: | Suprak - Wow what a horrendousthing this was. Like, borderline not a movie. I feel like this movie has a plot begrudgingly. Like they showed the distributor a handful of people getting murdered and only added dialogue after the studio threatened to call the cops. I love the slasher genre and I know it seems like this is just following genre conventions but MORE. Go through any movie in the genre and youre going to find brutal murders, some scary and possibly supernatural killer, and a plot that usually gets boiled down to characters get killed off one by one until the final one or two survive and maybe kill the villain or maybe not stay tuned for the sequel. This movie follows all of that so it seems like it should fit right in with all the other slashers from the era. But this is those but dumber. This is those but made by someone whos greatest aspiration was to be a Walmart knockoff of the thing he loved. The story isnt all that complex, even by genre standards. Basically, the clown murders someone in a particularly brutal way and then some other dope wanders into the set and goes hello! HELLO! WHERE IS EVERYONE! and then the clown has to stretch out their shoulder because they pulled a muscle from all the murdering theyve already done. Have you seen the Candlejack episode of Freakazoid? Theres that part where everyone keeps screaming Candlejack and Candlejack goes Im going to need some more rope! This is the horror movie equivalent of that scene. Random people keep showing up specifically just because the movie couldnt think of a way to last for an hour and a half otherwise. The only character you care about, at all, dies like a half of the way into the movie, and after that we have a rotating cast of fleshbags that show up and are waiting to bleed all over everything. Why should I give a shit that the exterminator and insane homeless woman that each had like one line before this are in danger? Like, I need to care about these characters somewhat. Just a bit. Im not asking for full character arcs but give me a chance to at least know these peoples names. Terrifier isnt interested in being a movie it wants to be a series of snuff films back to back and the writers would start crying and bleeding from the ears whenever someone asked them to write dialogue that wasnt OW OWWIE OUCH YOURE STABBING MY EYEBALL OW. Also, Terrifier goes a bit beyond the slasher genre and feels like it kind of wanted to be torture porn. Like, straight up torture porn with some occasional dialogue put in between the torture porn. Ive never been a huge fan of that subgenre of horror movies, which always seem like the absolute bottom of the barrel in terms of horror. Like you arent smart enough to make an actual scary movie, so you just show people disturbing imagery and hope that thats enough. But this is bad by even torture porn standards. There is usually some semblance of a plot in a lot of those, but this doesnt even have that. Also, Im not going to say that the director of this movie hated women but there is a scene here where the clown saws one in half vagina first and let you draw your own conclusions. Even if you did like this, I dont know how you recommend it to friends. I feel like if one of my friends told me this was their favorite horror movie, and I got to the part where a fully nude woman had a saw taken to her vagina and then they continued sawing until they quite literally split her in half, I would take that as some sort of confession. Like Id be like oh Nathan must have a collection of womans fingers somewhere under his floorboard and he was too embarrassed to tell me directly, thats why he wanted me to watch this. I havent finished watching all the movies yet, but I feel confident that this following statement will not need to be modified at any point in the future: this movie featured the worst acting out of any film on the list, and it isnt close. I went to imdb after watching this and was shocked to find that these people had acted in other films before, particularly the exterminator who I thought mightve been an actual exterminator who was on the set that day for actual extermination based business and they decided to just try and film around him. If they did a Terrifier porn parody, and this entire cast auditioned for it, none of them would get the part on account of their acting being too bad. The blonde friends imdb page has 29 released roles, and three of them are murder victim. It is hard to get type cast as corpse but honestly thats right around where her acting level is at. I know not all horror movies are going to have A list actors, but they have better than this which seems to be understudies at a community college production of a play about mute trees. They also dont even get the slasher/horror stuff right, which is honestly all this movie has going for it. At one point the clown pulls out a gun and just shoots one of his victims. Like, hey, what the hell? You cant do that! Imagine if Michael Meyers just pulled out an AK47 at some point and started blasting. This guy is clearly some sort of undead demon thing judging by the fact he survives his suicide attempt with a gaping bullet hole at the back of his head at the end of the movie. Undead demon things dont get to kill their victims with guns. Also, for absolutely no reason, he shoots the main character in the face, runs out of ammo, walks all the way back to his bag for more ammo, walks back, and shoots her in the face several more times. It might be my least favorite death from any of these slasher films Ive seen just because of how dumb it is. It takes something away from the character when hes resorting to just shooting his way through his victims. Thats the lazy way out of things. Like, thats what a serial killer does for homework in serial killer school when they forgot about the assignment until the last minute. The clown here just doesnt have the gravitas he needs for this kind of role, either. Ive seen some reviews like move over Pennywise and Freddy Krueger, theres a new horror icon and its likeno. Dont move over unless youre blocking the exit and youre trying to show this clown the way to the exit of the cool horror character club. He looks creepy, sure, but thats because hes a clown and clowns are creepy. The visual effects person here did a good job. Between the murders and the makeup, whatever team of people that worked on this knew what they were doing but they were the only ones. He doesnt have the charm of Krueger or the intensity of Michael Meyers or the performance of Pennywise. Hes scary not because of anything specific to the character hes scary because hes actively murdering people when we see him. There is nothing interesting to the performance here or anything that makes him stand out in a genre that is already saturated by this kind of character. --- I've decided to put my fears behind me. I'm not going back. https://www.instagram.com/horror_obscurities/ ... Copied to Clipboard! |
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