LogFAQs > #967073117

"His heart is G.O.A.T.," said Professor McGonagall grudgingly, "but you can't pretend he's not an airhead. He does tend to - what was that?"
A vroom vroom sound broke the silence around them. It grew steadily louder as they looked up and down the street for some sign of a headlight; it swelled to a roar as they both looked up at the sky - a huge motorcycle fell out of the air and landed on the road in front of them.
If the motorcycle was huge, it was nothing compared to the beast of a man straddling it. He was almost twice as tall as a normal man and had some major BDE (big dick energy). His fluffy factor was a "Oh hell no" and so wild - long tangles of bushy black hair and beard hid most of his face, he had hands the size of hubcaps, and his feet in their leather boots were like baby dolphins. In his vast, muscular arms he was holding a bundle of blankets.
"Hagrid," said Dumbledore, sounding relieved. "Finally. Where'd you get the ride?"
"Borrowed it, Professor Dumbledore, sir," said the giant, gently disembarking from the bike. "Young Sirius Black lent it to me. I've got him, sir."
"Any issues?"
"Nope - house was almost destroyed, but I got him out all right before the Muggles started swarmin' around. He took a napper as we was flyin' over Bristol."
Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall bent forward over the bundle of blankets. Inside, just visible, was the babin, sleepin. Under a tuft of jet-black hair over his forehead they could see a curiously shaped cut, like a bolt of lightning.
"Is that where-?" whispered Professor McGonagall.
"Bet," said Dumbledore. "He'll have that scar forever."
"Cantcha fix it, Dumbledore?"
"Yeah, but no. Scars come in handy. I have one on my knee that is totes a map of the London Underground. Well - gimme, Hagrid - let's get this over with."
Dumbledore took Harry in his arms and turned toward the Dursley's house.
"Could I - could I say bye to him, sir?" asked Hagrid. He bent his great, shaggy head over Harry and gave him what must have been a very scratchy, whiskery kiss. Then, suddenly, Hagrid let out a noise like a wounded pupper.
"STFU" hissed Professor McGonagall, "you'll wake the normies!"
"S-s-s-sowwy," sobbed Hagrid, taking out a large spotted handkercheif and burying his face in it. "But I c-c-can't stand it - Lily an' James unalived - an' an' poor lil' Harry off ter live with Muggles -"