LogFAQs > #968396701

I actually had a really painful disagreement with my girlfriend about a month and a half ago: I had asserted that existing in the closet is incredibly painful and traumatic (especially for a trans person) and she got really reactive and negative and minimized that experience. I was so hurt I took some space from the relationship. She apologized the next day, but kind of seemed like she didn't really get it.

I did eventually resolve to forgive her, and we wound up having a long conversation about it in which she walked me through what she had been thinking and she had been coming from while emphasizing that she had been wrong and demonstrating she had educated herself.

And I bring it up not only because I can't help but talk about her constantly, but because I have never received a more thorough and thoughtful apology in my life. She could have easily dug in and further damaged or even killed our relationship, but instead she took responsibility for herself and wound up strengthening our relationship instead.

Okay, enough of that. I really think our reluctance to acknowledge fault - to acknowledge that we were wrong - is very much rooted in selfishness. It's rooted in an unwillingness to acknowledge that another had a better view or understanding of a given situation and/or topic, and it prevents us from learning and growing from our mistakes.