LogFAQs > #968677942

Whenever I pass people by on work, I have a tendency to look down and/or away from them, out of anxiety and shyness. I fear that they would hate me for this habit, for it would appear to them that I am shunning them and making them feel as though they had done something to wrong me. In truth, I am just so very afraid of eye-contact and interacting with others. I feel even worse after choosing to ignore the hapless co-worker who happens to pass me by, because of the reasons thus mentioned. I worry that they hate me, which is not too far-fetched a possibility at this point, I imagine.

It is true that co-workers have greeted me on more than one occasion. But on each of those occasions, I had seldom made eye-contact, and had usually responded to them with little more than monosyllabic responses that may impart to them the accurate, but unfortunate, impression that I am incapable of socializing normally. A few of the co-workers I am in contact with every day have greeted me by name. I have taken this gesture to mean that they know my name, and that each of them means to emphasize that I do not know theirs, since I have never once responded to them using it. Just this morning, my superior had greeted me, then returned immediately to the conversation she had been immersed in with a co-worker. It is a clear sign, to me at least, that she is not overly fond of me. I am aware that universal popularity is hardly a requirement for the position I am working at. But it is a terrible feeling, nonetheless, to be worried constantly about what my peers and superiors whisper about me in my absence.

During the two weeks I have had to check into the office, they have had me virtually shadow a veteran co-worker. It is not a very rewarding experience, since I've yet to acquire the necessary tools to replicate the advice they would impart to me during these sessions. I have taken notes, but so far, they are not currently relevant to me. I know that on more than one occasion, I have shown much disrespect to my co-workers during these sessions. I have been diligent in muting my microphone as they are lecturing on the procedures they follow when performing a given task. But due to my own stupidity and general lack of attentiveness to the things happening around me, I tend to forget that they are able to hear me during these virtual sessions, since we do these sessions within a few yards of each other. I cannot help that I am unable to stay interested and immersed in the material that is being covered, when I have absolutely no means of interacting with it myself. I'm afraid that my co-workers do not think very fondly of me, two weeks into coming into work in-person.

I am far more aware that this quality of mine makes me a far less ideal candidate for any position, but I must confess that I am a terrible listener. I have trouble diverting attention from my thoughts to the person who is dedicating their time to speak to me. I, on the other hand, do not have the courtesy to listen or take interest in them. I wouldn't blame anyone for hating me for this bad habit of mine. Some of my co-workers speak somewhat crassly, and some of the manuals they have provided are saturated with errors that make me take the manuals and the ones who have written them less seriously. It just gets tiring trying to engage myself in this job, after a while. I worry that my hiring manager has already regretted her choice, having hired me onto her team.

Anyway, how was your day, board?

I must have these answers.