LogFAQs > #968886018

LinkPizza posted...

I am. Hope youre doing well, too

Thank you, friend. It's a difficult ... thing to answer and summarize in a post like this. But if I can find the words:

The horrific grief and pain does not leave while I'm still here in this world. Of course. But compared to where I was a few years ago, I'm.. moving differently. I'm not in a fetal position crying my eyes out 15 hours a day wondering why I'm still here, like I was at the end of 2017. I'm working a job I love, I'm with friends, I'm out playing pool, exercising, out dating. I'm functioning, and doing my best to live a life that honors my wife and our love, honors Jesus and God, and be a good man that helps lift others up. I sometimes (often...) fall short of this, I'm human, but I get back up and try again. But the pain is still always there with me. It's a bit abstract and hard to describe, like a paradox of nightmare grief existing simultaneously with being thankful for my life and trying to live the best life I can. I have been blessed in so many ways, a few really intense stories (I could PM you one if you want) but overall... I'm just waking up each day and trying to do my best.