LogFAQs > #968969794

darkmaian23 posted...

Your thesis earlier was that a way of handing out of control behavior is to ignore it. I have literally never seen him post anything that wasn't abusive or inflammatory. He has allegedly sent women on this site creepy, unsolicited messages and been banned before because of it. Which is more reasonable, everyone putting Duncan's endless stream of accounts on ignore over and over again, or him being permanently banned? Permanently removing him from the site makes using it safer and more pleasant, and would deny him an outlet for more toxic behavior and its reinforcement.

To be honest, your enabler stance is really starting to piss me off. It spits in the face of disabled people who do try their best to be good and need some understanding when things don't work out. The admins of this site have a responsibility to keep this site safe, Duncan's guardians (assuming he really them and needs them) have a responsibility to more closely monitor his activities online and get him more help if he needs it, and Ducan himself has a responsibility to try his best to do well with whatever cognitive and emotional abilities he has. The only responsibility that posters here have is to try and be generally OK people and follow the rules. Most of us do OK with both.

The two biggest hurdles to the broader acceptance of mentally and physically disabled people in my opinion are people that hide behind a diagnosis to excuse ridiculously toxic behavior and those who insist that everyone else needs to accept this because the person is sick. Let's extend this thinking to the case of a person who has no real choice in their behavior. If a caregiver takes a late-stage dementia person to a museum, cool! Maybe the person's behavior will be a little strange, but we live in a society, and folks will understand. But if that person becomes too disruptive, they'll be asked to leave. If the behavior becomes too extreme or there is a pattern, they'll likely be banned from the venue and the caregiver will need to find something else to occupy the person's time.

Please stop advocating for endless tolerance. There is a logical limit to what should be allowed, and one isn't lacking in compassion for setting such limits.

Who's going to ban him? You? There haven't been permanent KoS style bans here in like a decade, and as I've said, the only one with the ability to make that decision is Allen. I haven't advocated for tolerance in the slightest, and suggested you block and report him as you feel necessary. My argument hasn't had anything to do with what Duncan does or should be allowed to. My argument has been towards the users that engage with him and how they choose to do so.

You seem to suggest that few if any of his interactions with other users on this website are positive, which would reason that negative reinforcement is at least a partial motivator towards his continual return to the board. Maybe it's the attention, maybe it's a desire to prove something, I don't know. But if he's done this for years, it's pretty clear that the behavior isn't going to change by antagonizing him more.

You made a big point about self-control, and that's a two way street. If you can't help but get so pissed at what a mid 30s dude, who is at least self-proclaimed ASD, who lives with and gets grounded by his mother, whose sphere of influence likely doesn't extend much further than his bedroom door, has to say, that you are literally incapable of just blocking, reporting and moving on, maybe a bit of introspection about self-control is due. Needlessly antagonizing or intentionally goading what seems to be a significantly impaired individual when you could just block and report for literally the same end result is pretty fuckin gross in my opinion, and to be quite frank I really don't care if that pisses you off or not.