LogFAQs > #971551541

My ex was horrible to me and I had to deal with it because she would throw BPD tantrums and threaten to kill herself in response to any perceived inconvenience. I was trapped and she knew it. She also had BDD and had a very disturbing view towards sexuality. I was pretty much sexually assaulted the first time we ever hung out and I couldn't do anything because she would have interpreted it as me not being attracted to her, which would trigger another tantrum. She would say the most cruel, evil things to me, while having zero empathy or sympathy for me. I would spend literal sleepless nights in a row trying to talk her down from doing drastic things, and the rare time I'd have a panic attack around her she'd mock me or just flat-out say "this is fucking stupid".

She ended up cheating on me with a heroin addict she worked with while blaming me for being "too boring". We remained semi-friends for a while before she threw a tantrum after realizing she didn't know how to use a computer despite being in her mid twenties, which resulted in her spamming my phone telling me to kill myself and telling me I was worthless.

The relationship completely destroyed my self-esteem, confidence and trust in other people. It ruined sex and intimacy for me to the point where I've regressed into this mindset of it being "dirty". And I've had to put up with a lot of people somehow blaming me for it, telling me "you shoulda left bro".