LogFAQs > #974168247

My entire family is teeming with severe mental illness, unhappiness, and behavioral problems. I've seen things you wouldn't believe. Your husband doesn't care about you, your relationship, or your daughter; not really, anyway. When you really love someone, that changes you, your values, and your actions. Do you think he was struggling with the thought of what he was doing to his wife, his daughter, his family while being unfaithful? Because if he was struggling, don't you think he would have either stopped or spoken up about needing to get help long before you found him. When you finally did catch him, he didn't look remorseful or broken, he tried to hide shit and pretend.

If you think I'm wrong, get someone to watch your kid, sit down with him, and demand he come clean about everything he has been doing, including what you saw him deleting before you can move forward in your relationship. I'm betting he won't do it. Instead you'll get some of the following thrown at you:

• I don't know why I do these things.
• Be patient with me!
• I can't control what I do.
• This is how I am and you need to accept it.
• I haven't done anything wrong!
• I didn't do X, you did X! <-- my Dad's absolute favorite.

Therapy only has a chance of working on the willing. He doesn't sound too willing to me. The separate bedroom thing is 100% a weird emotional or sexual thing that he disguises using the excuse of his sleeping disorder, and that he takes advantage of to cheat and go behind your back. You think you're hurting your daughter by getting a divorce, but what kind of dad and role model is a man like this going to be to her? I mean, at this point, you don't even know for sure the extent of what he has been hiding. Can you be the best mom and person you can be while your soul slowly gets sucked out by having a shady life partner you can't trust?

There is also the environmental factor. This is something that bothers a lot of people in general, but growing up in a toxic home environment can severely damage you as a person. That damage varies from person to person. Some people get over it, and some kinda don't. Even if you really think your daughter needs her mom and dad to stay together, find out 100% what kinds of problems your husband is really having before making your decision.