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TopicAnagram Ranks Anything Legend of Zelda-related with Full Write-Ups (spoilers)
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07/31/23 11:20:08 PM
#193:


I Coveted That Wind
Link (Soul Calibur II)
Fierce Deity Link
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Paraglider
Zelda/Sheik in Smash
Midna
Legend of Zelda (Theme)
Link (GameFAQs)
Gerudo Valley (Theme)

Good!
Cadence of Hyrule
Master Sword
Princess Zelda (Spirit Tracks)
Koji Kondo
Triforce
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
Gerudo Outfit (BotW)
Swordless Link Trick (OoT)
Cia
The Missing Link
Goron
Hookshot
Hearts
Song of Storms
CD-I Cutscenes
Legend of Zelda (Name)
Great Fairies
The Vision in Lanayru Spring
Skull Kid
Going Straight to Castle Hyrule in BotW
Japanese Link to the Past commercial

Hey, Listen!
The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
Z3R
Bongo Bongo
Anju/Kafei Quest
Magnet Gloves
BotW Cooking Jingle
Hestu's Gift
Stealing from the LA Shop: So good. Not only does it add a little character to the game, it makes the acquisition of the bow either slightly nonlinear or a moral choice. You CAN spend forever grinding 980 rupees before leaving the opening village, or you can play the game normally and obtain them eventually, or you can just steal the stupid bow at the start. It's such a simple concept, and the game never even tells you that you can steal. You have to work for it, you'll never accidentally steal it on your own. I love that this is an option. And if you really want to look at things from a logic perspective, even the shopkeeper's ability to shoot a Kamahameha at you makes sense, since it's a dream.
Stone Tower Temple
Linkle
Bombos Medallion: This item has shown up exactly two times. It's basically just a big "fire attack everywhere" ability, the first time as an enhancement to your spin attack, the second time as just a straight-up magic spell. I just want to point out how the Wiki lists: Use(s): Defeating enemies, Burning enemies. Thanks, Zelda Wiki editors. I don't know how actually useful this item is, honestly, but it is at least cool, and it gets some points for that.
His Name is Zelda
Second Quest
Great Bay Temple
Heroic Fantasy
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening
Link, the Silent Protagonist
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons/Ages
Groose
Ghirahim
Medli
Saria
Well ExcuuuuUUUUuuuuuuUUUUuuUuuuUUUUse Me, Princess!
Jeremy
Water Temple (OoT): In a way, this is sort of the definitive Zelda dungeon, isn't it? Like, when I think of Zelda dungeons, for better or for worse, this is what comes to mind first. It's very by-the-books as far they go, but does have a lot of originality in its water-raising-creating-more-stories system. But hell, we all know that's not really what you're asking about. I've played this dungeon probably 8+ times, and I think all but once, I got stuck. Every time after the first, I knew the problem was in the central tower, and yet it still always took me forever to find it. There's just something about this dungeon's layout and puzzle system that make it really hard to deal with, and I can't really explain why. It says something that in the Master Quest version of the game, which is designed to make every dungeon harder, they accidentally made the Water Temple easier, because there was just no way to make it harder than it already is without altering the layout. And how... odd is it that this is the only water dungeon in the series that's underwater. That's true, isn't it? I think every single other has an entrance that's above water, and this is the only one you need to travel underwater to reach. Lastly, I just want to complain about the oyster things that attack you. You have to fight them using the hookshot underwater, and it's super annoying. I'm glad they never came back after MM. But, I mean, hell, people complain about this dungeon a lot, but it IS memorable. There are literally dozens of Zelda dungeons no one ever talks about it, some of which are in OoT, and its memorability is not solely due to its difficulty. I do think that this is, at worst, an okay dungeon overall.
Hyrule Warriors
Green (Color): I wonder what motivated the green color of Link's tunic. Was it somehow a technical limitations thing? Because when I think of heroic colors, I think of either red or blue. I never think of green. I can't think of any big-name heroes associated with green in any way, except I guess Luke's lightsaber? Was it because he's like an elf? Zelda wearing pink and white is fine, she's a princess, and Ganon dressing in dark colors is fine, he's the villain, but what the hell motivated the choice of green for your hero? This, the floppy hat, and the left-handedness are like the only aspects of Link that aren't just archetypal hero attributes, and I can't explain it. Anyway, as a kid, I always put the Zora Tunic on as fast as I could, and never removed it.
The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds: I mean this in the kindest possible way: LBW is the ultimate filler game. It's weird to say that about a game in a series with no overarching plot, where there can't really be filler because filler as a concept requires that it be filling in the space between two important games... and yet, here we are. Everything about this game just feels like LttP polished up: the map, of course, is basically the same thing, the general aesthetic is basically the same thing, the gameplay is basically the same thing, the reverse world is basically the same thing. The only differences are that you can get (almost) any item at the start, and you get the ability to 2D walk on walls. That ability, man, it reminds me of an indie game, where the developer has an idea for some hyper specific mechanic, then makes an entire game that's just "how can I use this idea in every possible context?" In that sense, LBW does its job perfectly: every possible way you can think of to use "turn yourself into a heiroglyph," it does. But, if we're putting things as bluntly as possible, then I have to say this: LBW takes exactly zero risks. It's a sequel, almost a remake, of the safest and most normal 2D Zelda, and possibly the safest Zelda period. I want to say that every other title takes a risk in some way? LoZ was the first, AoL was a completely different thing, LA is porting this vast game idea (for the time) to the GB, OoT is the step into 3D, MM has a time loop mechanic and a weird, gross atmosphere, OoX is this giant two-part game, WW has a completely different tone and semi-open world, FSA is multiplayer, PH has its stylus gimmick, even SS tries to go all-in on the deep lore, and BotW, we'll get to that. The only other games that are equally just 'the same thing as before' are LttP and TP, but LttP at least was updating things to the 16-bit era. Is there something to be said for making basically an updated version of LttP, a game that was itself basically an updated version of LoZ? And that's the thing. In a vacuum, I have to admit that this game is just better than LttP, because it is... but at no point while playing it was I ever like blown away or anything. I mean, hell, at the end, even Ganon comes back. So, that's how I have to describe LBW: it's very clever and well-made and charming, but very safe and predictable, and for that reason, I can't really put it on the same level as LttP, even though I'll fully acknowledge that it's actually a better game. Also... is the last 'lesser' Zelda game? I don't know if TFH counts, but if it doesn't, then this is the last non-console Zelda title, and the nature of the Switch sort of precludes making the smaller games in-between the larger ones.


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Started: July 6, 2005
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