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TopicAnagram Ranks Anything Legend of Zelda-related with Full Write-Ups (spoilers)
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08/01/23 11:10:54 PM
#228:


I Coveted That Wind
Link (Soul Calibur II)
Fierce Deity Link
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Paraglider
Zelda/Sheik in Smash
Ocarina (Instrument)
Midna
Legend of Zelda (Theme)
Link (GameFAQs)
Gerudo Valley (Theme)

Good!
Cadence of Hyrule
Master Sword
Princess Zelda (Spirit Tracks)
Koji Kondo
Triforce
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
Gerudo Outfit (BotW)
Swordless Link Trick (OoT)
Cia
The Missing Link
Goron
Hookshot
Champion's Tunic (BotW)
Hearts
Song of Storms
CD-I Cutscenes
Legend of Zelda (Name)
Great Fairies
The Vision in Lanayru Spring
Skull Kid
Going Straight to Castle Hyrule in BotW
Japanese Link to the Past commercial

Hey, Listen!
The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
Z3R
Bongo Bongo
Anju/Kafei Quest
Magnet Gloves
BotW Cooking Jingle
Hestu's Gift
Twinrova: It's a good joke, that when you kill them, they complain that they're dying at different ages, and one gets annoyed that the other is lying about her age. It's kind of interesting, too. The idea of them being Ganondorf's adoptive mothers is good, it gives them some more significance than being random monster bosses like Bongo Bongo. They're also one of the few human bosses in a dungeon, right? Offhand, all I can think of are Twinrova and Ghirahim, it's almost always an ancient monster or robot or something. The idea of them turning into one superpowerful witch at the end because they have twin powers is also good, and I like how rather than it being a sexy witch, it's still like this ugly, misshapen crone. Like, you google "Twinrova," and it's all sexy fanart that looks nothing like her ta all. Of course, the fact that they ascend to Heaven, then later show up in the Oracle games, presumably reincarnated, raises some ontological questions about the Zelda afterlife that I won't get into. Why are they working to resurrect Ganon again, when their new reincarnations aren't his adoptive mother anymore? I dunno. I can't even say that they're just evil, because their Termina versions are just normal people. Even that's kind of neat. Anyway, I read the Trivia section of Twinrova's Wiki page, and most of it is stupid ("Koume is certain that the potion given to her is Kotake's, even if it was purchased from the Trading Post in Clock Town or other means. Therefore, Kotake may be supplying the Trading Post with its potions"), but to my shock, there actually is something interesting in it: "In The Wind Waker, Koume and Kotake's names are engraved on Ganondorf's swords in Hylian." I'm shocked that this bit of canon was carried on between games, that's actually super interesting and makes WW Ganondorf slightly cooler.
Stealing from the LA Shop
Stone Tower Temple
Linkle
Bombos Medallion
His Name is Zelda
Second Quest
Great Bay Temple
Heroic Fantasy
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening
Link, the Silent Protagonist
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons/Ages
Groose
Fighter Choices (Smash)
Ghirahim
Medli
Saria
Subtitles: Adventure of Link, A Link to the Past, Link's Awakening, Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask, Oracle of Seasons, Oracle of Ages, The Wind Waker, Four Swords Adventures, The Minish Cap, Twilight Princess, Phantom Hourglass, Spirit Tracks, Skyward Sword, A Link Between Worlds, Triforce Heroes, Breath of the Wild, Tears of the Kingdom. Looking back, it's almost surprising they never went back and gave the original game a subtitle, like how Star Trek became Star Trek: The Original Series. Anyway, I'm fine with this. For a series like Zelda, where the connections between the games are tenuous anyway, it's a good idea to give them unique subtitles, even if they don't always make sense. What is the link to the past? Isn't every game an adventure of Link's, and isn't he the hero of the Triforce in almost every game? Why is the Ocarina of Time the titular macguffin, when it has minimal actual story significance? Is it supposed to be Link's Awakening, as in the Awakening of Link, or Link's Awakening, like Link is awakening? How can it be Majora's Mask, when Majora is the mask? It can't own itself. Do you ever really point your sword toward the sky? Which princess is the Twilight one? Those traintracks have nothing to do with spirits until Zelda loses her body, and even then, that's a tangential relation at best. The world may never know the answers to these questions. In all seriousness, Zelda subtitles mostly follow the fantasy novel naming convention of "the X of Y," and usually name themselves after the most important macguffin or person besides Link, which is a good idea for a fantasy series. What else were they going to do, name them Legend of Zelda 5? Legend of Zelda 6? Imagine trying to keep track of the games that way, I can already barely keep track of which Pokemon generation is which after 5.
Well ExcuuuuUUUUuuuuuuUUUUuuUuuuUUUUse Me, Princess!
Jeremy
Water Temple (OoT)
Hyrule Warriors
Green (Color)
The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds
I'm so Hungry, I could eat an Octorok!
Molgera's Boss Theme
Kirby (Link's Awakening)
King Zora
Ganon's Tower (LttP)
The Mask Salesman
Shigeru Miyamoto: My opinion of Miyamoto is the same as most people's: he's sort of the George Lucas of video games. He has some amazing ideas that redefined the genre, and then he got old, and kept getting the way of new ideas. Every story you hear about him post-2010 is just him ruining a video game by playing things too conservatively. God, what has he done since 2010? Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon? Star Fox Zero? Yeesh. And yet, he basically made a third of all the classic games everyone loves, so it's impossible to hate him. At least he never sold Nintendo to Disney. What's the Disney equivalent of computer stuff? Microsoft?
Tetra
Royal Crest
The Moon
Dark Link
Door Charge Old Man
Wind Fish: The most whatever concept in the series, possibly. You'd be hard-pressed to find two concepts less related than wind and fish, though. He should just be the Dream Fish or something. Speaking of which, he's not even a fish, he's a whale. I like his design, though, it's fancy and slightly ugly. Really good for some kind of quasi-demigod or whatever he's supposed to be.
Gleeokenspiel
Sidon
Twilight Princess
Pre-Hyrule Historia Timeline Debates: If we're being really, really honest... these were kind of fun. Sometimes, it's fun to argue about complete nonsense, and no two words better describe the Zelda canon than "complete nonsense." Like, no stakes fan arguments are sometimes fun! They just are! "Is Gilgamesh the same guy in every Final Fantasy?" "Is the Arkenstone a Silmaril, or just a random shiny stone?" "Why can the P3 characters summon personas outside of the magic world, unlike all of the others?" And then these questions get actual answers, and they're not as fun as the fan answers. Like, honestly, why even make the Zelda timeline official if you're not going to do anything with it? They didn't even like arrange it by artstyle, so that all the old games are one timeline, all the cel-shaded games are another, and so on. It's just random and bad. I don't think anyone is very satisfied by the Zelda timeline, including Nintendo, since BotW is apparently set in the distant future after the timelines recombined? How the hell does that even work? I guess I'm not in a position to question how omnipotent goddess magic works, but honestly. These arguments weren't the best thing ever or anything, but they were mildly fun, especially the people who tried to insist it was the same Link in every game pre-WW, and the official timeline took that away.
Rolling in Ocarina of Time
Temple (Smash Stage)
Toon Link


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Started: July 6, 2005
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