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Topic	Anagram Ranks Anything Legend of Zelda-related with Full Write-Ups (spoilers)
Anagram 08/03/23 1:33:12 AM #247:	Master, I Detect You Are Low on Life Twilight Princess Pre-Hyrule Historia Timeline Debates Rolling in Ocarina of Time Temple (Smash Stage) Toon Link Stamina Companions Hyrule: I like the Legend of Zelda as much as the next guy, but Hyrule is the most nothing fantasy world ever. That's to its advantage, since, as I've said, I prefer Zelda to not even try to have deep lore, but like... Hyrule is basically one step above a Pokemon region in terms of how much I care about it. It's just a generic medieval European land to have adventures in, with some wacky Japanese stuff and ancient super technology mixed in. Like, it's slightly above the world of Final Fantasy IV in terms of being fleshed out, which is fine. Of course, this is before you consider that there are actually multiple Hyrules across the timelines, but whatever. We'll just ignore the ST one, since it had the audacity to advance to 1800s technology. Colgera's Boss Theme The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap Using Ocarina of Time to speedrun Paper Mario Katsuya Terada Ezlo Dragon Roost Island (Music) Cuccos: Obviously, they're just chickens. I do like the recurring gag that if you attack them, an endless wave of chickens will fly from everywhere and avenge their friend. How many games actually have you grab one and use it to float down places? I only remember doing that in OoT and MM, but it must be more, right? It's nice that they managed to do something fun with a common farm animal appropriate to a medieval fantasy world, as opposed to... nothing, like with what happens with cows. Din (Oracle) Ricky, Moosh, and Dimitri Hand in the Toilet Malo Mart Drgn roost island Shield (Magic): This spell reduces the damage you take by half, and turns you red for the duration, disappearing when you leave the screen. I... can't think of an ability with a greater inverse relationship between usefulness and interestingness. Screen Wraparound Glitch (LA) Weapon Durability Bug-Catching Net Gannon-Banned: Goddamn, I totally forgot about Gannon-banned until this. Remember when websites all looked like this? I do feel a certain bit of weird nostalgia for it. Man, he's even complaining about people calling MM "Zelda 2." Imagine anyone even being capable of making that mistake today. Christianity Imagery Marin The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks Gameboy Zelda Aesthetic The Legend of Zelda (Rabbit Joint) 1/2 Magic Meter Sploosh and Kaboom (Quotes) Link Gets Bullied Spirit Flute Well ExcuuuuUUUUuuuuuuUUUUuuUuuuUUUUse Me, Princess! Ben Drowned City in the Sky: I'm gonna level with you: I don't like sky cities or sky islands. I liked them once as a kid with Chrono Trigger, and that's the only time. It's just such a lazy way to have the advanced magical civilization show off its stuff. I understand that you want to have the advanced magic people live in a magical place that's beyond normal people, and a sky city is an easy way to do that... but honestly? It's just so overdone, even by 2006. Give me advanced magic people who live underwater, who live in a volcano, who live in another dimension, who live anywhere except a floating city. Now, that said, the actual dungeon is pretty good, and it gives us one of the greatest Zelda items ever, the Doubvle Clawshot, and I kind of like the Oocca for being so **ing hideous. Like, if you saw one of these things in real life, you'd just barf. Why did a people the size of chickens build a human-sized city? How did they build machines that need fingers to work, when they only have stubby little wings? I love it. They're just so gross. Epona Zelda's Lullaby Vaati Squid-Hunt (Minigame) Nintendo Power LttP Comics David Jr. Zant Wolf Link Princess Ruto: I am convinced that Princess Ruto is proof that you can have any female character do literally anything in the proximity of the main character that involves showing attraction, and fans will jump on it forever. Notice that I didn't say "male main character," by the way. Ruto shows up for five seconds as an eight-year-old, says "teehee Link I'm a spunky girl, I'll only give this important jewel to the man I'll mary one day~~~," and then doesn't show up for seven more years, whereupon she's an adult and is mostly just business. They repeated the same basic formula for Mipha, too. Like, this is the most nothing character ever, even moreso than Saria. At least Saria grew up with Link, but is trapped as a child forever, so there's like a connection and a tragedy there that ensures they can never be together or whatever. Ruto is just a sexy fish girl. She's like the sixth sexiest girl in OoT alone, I'll take Zelda, Marin, Impa, Nabooru, and the Bombchu Bowling Girl over her, and those are just the ones I can name offhand. The only thing I really remember her for is saying "Link, you have to carry me around like an object in the worst dungeon in the game," and then you just DO, which is one way to handle an escort quest, I suppose. Second best escort quest of all time, after Ashley? I remember she shows back in up Hyrule Warriors, but I don't remember a ing thing about that game's plot, just that Ganondorf has a cool design. Video Game Concerts Makar Kass 5000 Rupee Heart Piece in MM Gohma xenosaga's Impulse Link/Epona Figure Mechanical Harp: Windmills (Pikmin 4) Legend of Zelda (NES) Bagu (Nintendo Comics Series) Frostare Nintendo Cereal System Ballad of the Wind Fish: It was harder than you expct to find the original Gameboy version of this one youtube. I don't know if I prefer it over the remake's version, actually. I don't like the lyrics for the new one, but the ear-splitting Gameboy sounds are... yeesh. I assume the lyrics sound better in Japanese, and it's another translation thing, like with Fire Emblem songs always sounding kind of bad in English. Ancient Cistern Triforce Heroes Primitive 3D Aesthetic Rod of Seasons Zelda Kirby Fishing Minigame (OoT) Magic Hammer Japanese Boss Battle Theme (AoL): Man, I also like loops, but not so much in my music, not if they're only three seconds long. It's a quality three seconds, but it's just three seconds. Honestly, it's more like two-and-three-quarters seconds. Forced Stealth Sections King Harkinan Heart Pieces Locked Behind Bad Minigames Divine Beasts Zelda II: The Adventure of Link Kinstones Power vs. Wisdom vs. Courage (Splatoon) You've Met with a Terrible Fate Hyrule Warriors Legends DLC Maps not being Backported to HW Wii U The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword The Legend of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass Temple of the Ocean King The Imprisoned (Boss) Equipment Rental Freshly-Picked Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland Frog's Song of Soul (LA:DX) Tadtones Demise Zelda Timeline --- Not changing this sig until I decide to change this sig. Started: July 6, 2005 <cite>Anagram posted [p:975222559] in Anagram Ra... [t:80520249]...</cite> <quote>Master, I Detect You Are Low on LifeTwilight PrincessPre-Hyrule Historia Timeline DebatesRolling in Ocarina of TimeTemple (Smash Stage)Toon LinkStaminaCompanionsHyrule: I like the Legend of Zelda as much as the next guy, but Hyrule is the most nothing fantasy world ever. That's to its advantage, since, as I've said, I prefer Zelda to not even try to have deep lore, but like... Hyrule is basically one step above a Pokemon region in terms of how much I care about it. It's just a generic medieval European land to have adventures in, with some wacky Japanese stuff and ancient super technology mixed in. Like, it's slightly above the world of Final Fantasy IV in terms of being fleshed out, which is fine. Of course, this is before you consider that there are actually multiple Hyrules across the timelines, but whatever. We'll just ignore the ST one, since it had the audacity to advance to 1800s technology.Colgera's Boss ThemeThe Legend of Zelda: The Minish CapUsing Ocarina of Time to speedrun Paper MarioKatsuya TeradaEzloDragon Roost Island (Music)Cuccos: Obviously, they're just chickens. I do like the recurring gag that if you attack them, an endless wave of chickens will fly from everywhere and avenge their friend. How many games actually have you grab one and use it to float down places? I only remember doing that in OoT and MM, but it must be more, right? It's nice that they managed to do something fun with a common farm animal appropriate to a medieval fantasy world, as opposed to... nothing, like with what happens with cows.Din (Oracle)Ricky, Moosh, and DimitriHand in the ToiletMalo MartDrgn roost islandShield (Magic): This spell reduces the damage you take by half, and turns you red for the duration, disappearing when you leave the screen. I... can't think of an ability with a greater inverse relationship between usefulness and interestingness.Screen Wraparound Glitch (LA)Weapon DurabilityBug-Catching NetGannon-Banned: Goddamn, I totally forgot about Gannon-banned until this. Remember when websites all looked like this? I do feel a certain bit of weird nostalgia for it. Man, he's even complaining about people calling MM "Zelda 2." Imagine anyone even being capable of making that mistake today.Christianity ImageryMarinThe Legend of Zelda: Spirit TracksGameboy Zelda AestheticThe Legend of Zelda (Rabbit Joint)1/2 Magic MeterSploosh and Kaboom (Quotes)Link Gets BulliedSpirit FluteWell ExcuuuuUUUUuuuuuuUUUUuuUuuuUUUUse Me, Princess!Ben DrownedCity in the Sky: I'm gonna level with you: I don't like sky cities or sky islands. I liked them once as a kid with Chrono Trigger, and that's the only time. It's just such a lazy way to have the advanced magical civilization show off its stuff. I understand that you want to have the advanced magic people live in a magical place that's beyond normal people, and a sky city is an easy way to do that... but honestly? It's just so overdone, even by 2006. Give me advanced magic people who live underwater, who live in a volcano, who live in another dimension, who live anywhere except a floating city. Now, that said, the actual dungeon is pretty good, and it gives us one of the greatest Zelda items ever, the Doubvle Clawshot, and I kind of like the Oocca for being so ing hideous. Like, if you saw one of these things in real life, you'd just barf. Why did a people the size of chickens build a human-sized city? How did they build machines that need fingers to work, when they only have stubby little wings? I love it. They're just so gross.EponaZelda's LullabyVaatiSquid-Hunt (Minigame)Nintendo Power LttP ComicsDavid Jr.ZantWolf LinkPrincess Ruto: I am convinced that Princess Ruto is proof that you can have any female character do literally anything in the proximity of the main character that involves showing attraction, and fans will jump on it forever. Notice that I didn't say "male main character," by the way. Ruto shows up for five seconds as an eight-year-old, says "teehee Link I'm a spunky girl, I'll only give this important jewel to the man I'll mary one day~~~," and then doesn't show up for seven more years, whereupon she's an adult and is mostly just business. They repeated the same basic formula for Mipha, too. Like, this is the most nothing character ever, even moreso than Saria. At least Saria grew up with Link, but is trapped as a child forever, so there's like a connection and a tragedy there that ensures they can never be together or whatever. Ruto is just a sexy fish girl. She's like the sixth sexiest girl in OoT alone, I'll take Zelda, Marin, Impa, Nabooru, and the Bombchu Bowling Girl over her, and those are just the ones I can name offhand. The only thing I really remember her for is saying "Link, you have to carry me around like an object in the worst dungeon in the game," and then you just DO, which is one way to handle an escort quest, I suppose. Second best escort quest of all time, after Ashley? I remember she shows back in up Hyrule Warriors, but I don't remember a **ing thing about that game's plot, just that Ganondorf has a cool design.Video Game ConcertsMakarKass5000 Rupee Heart Piece in MMGohmaxenosaga's Impulse Link/Epona FigureMechanical Harp: Windmills (Pikmin 4)Legend of Zelda (NES)Bagu (Nintendo Comics Series)FrostareNintendo Cereal SystemBallad of the Wind Fish: It was harder than you expct to find the original Gameboy version of this one youtube. I don't know if I prefer it over the remake's version, actually. I don't like the lyrics for the new one, but the ear-splitting Gameboy sounds are... yeesh. I assume the lyrics sound better in Japanese, and it's another translation thing, like with Fire Emblem songs always sounding kind of bad in English.Ancient CisternTriforce HeroesPrimitive 3D AestheticRod of SeasonsZelda KirbyFishing Minigame (OoT)Magic HammerJapanese Boss Battle Theme (AoL): Man, I also like loops, but not so much in my music, not if they're only three seconds long. It's a quality three seconds, but it's just three seconds. Honestly, it's more like two-and-three-quarters seconds.Forced Stealth SectionsKing HarkinanHeart Pieces Locked Behind Bad MinigamesDivine BeastsZelda II: The Adventure of LinkKinstonesPower vs. Wisdom vs. Courage (Splatoon)You've Met with a Terrible FateHyrule Warriors Legends DLC Maps not being Backported to HW Wii UThe Legend of Zelda: Skyward SwordThe Legend of Zelda: The Phantom HourglassTemple of the Ocean KingThe Imprisoned (Boss)Equipment RentalFreshly-Picked Tingle's Rosy RupeelandFrog's Song of Soul (LA:DX)TadtonesDemiseZelda Timeline --- Not changing this sig until I decide to change this sig.Started: July 6, 2005</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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