Years back while watching porn on my laptop, a commercial for Olive Garden popped up on the TV. As Sarah Hyland popped up and told me that I'm family at Olive Garden, I was struck with a brilliant idea.
I immediately wrote her a letter asking her to meet me at Olive Garden. I gave her the time, date snd location of the Olive Garden that I'd meet her at. There were two weeks in between sending out the letter and the event. So she had plenty of time to change plans if necessary. To insure that she'd show, I signed it "step brother". I also, playfully mentioned that we could go dryer shopping afterwards too. I figured she'd understand.
The night of the big event, I put on my best polo and khakis from when I worked at Best Buy. I didn't want to presume anything, but I also put on my best condom in case she couldn't wait until we went to Home Depot afterwards and we had to sneak into the bathroom to take it to the next level. I was fully prepared.
I showed up a little early, so I thought nothing of waiting 45 minutes or so. Our date wasn't until four, and I wanted to seem excited for it, but I'd pretend like I just got there minutes before. The waitress brought me breadsticks and was very patient. 4 o clock rolled around and she wasn't there. I figured she was being just running late. 4:05, nothing. 4:06, nothing. 4:07, nothing. 4:08...still nothing.
It dawned on me that I had been stood up. I did the only thing I could. I cried. I cried like a big dumb girl. Eventually, my waitress noticed when he brought the next round of breadsticks. She asked me if there was anything she could do and asked if I wanted to come back to her apartment to see what she could do to console me. Her shift ended at 4:30 and she had nothing to do all night long. I declined as I didn't want to wait that long and also she said her apartment only had a bed and nothing else to do. Seemed pretty boring to me.
The rest of the staff noticed my loud sobbing and took it upon themselves to try and remedy the situation. They made some calls and just as I was about to leave, their plans came together. In walked Sofia Vergara. She came in and sat with me and we had dinner together. At the end she gave me a full mouth kiss and put her number in my phone. Instead of putting her name in she put it under "I want to give you dick blowjobs".
Worst night of my life. Sarah Hyland stood me up and I made a fool of myself in front of the OG staff. Then they gave me some second rate actress that put a fake name in my phone.