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44. Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (Max)

It's HIS DAY. So I'm only going to watch Jason Voorhees films today! Happy Friday the 13th!

Friday the 13th: A New Beginning takes place five years after the last movie where Jason is dead for real now this time honest. Tommy Jarvis from the previous movie, now a teenager, is at a halfway house. But after someone dies there, Jason seems to return to go on another murder rampage.

So let me tell you, this movie is ass. Just one of the worst Friday the 13th films. It's so boring and so many of the kills are dull and half the time there's just one off scenes with characters before Jason kills them, and rarely are any scenes that are funny meant to be funny.

Baffling is them opening with a dream sequence of child Tommy seeing two graverobbers digging up Jason and him returning. It was actually legitimately funny in how corny it was. But I wasn't prepared for how bad it would be after that. There's just nothing here with this movie. It really feels like a complete cash-in on the franchise.

I'll go ahead and spoil the ending because it's so fucking dumb.

So the killer isn't a returned Jason. It's some random paramedic we never see that went to the halfway house after that kid died, and the kid was actually his son. And he had a breakdown and was apparently a big Jason fanatic, so he decided to put on his outfit and start murdering everyone.

And if you think that reveal is bad, there's more!

Tommy attempts to kill the survivor girl. PSYCH! That's a dream. Tommy then sees Jason come into his room, PSYCH! That's a dream. Survivor girl comes into his room and sees the window broken, and Tommy isn't there. PSYCH! Tommy is behind the door wearing a Jason mask and trying to kill her.

This movie sucks, and it sucks a lot. While I've enjoyed all of these movies before, this really feels like the first one to be outright awful. Do not recommend the fifth installment.

Rating: 3/10