LogFAQs > #884924674

You're lying on the carpet in your mother's basement, gently tossing a tennis ball in the air to yourself. Your lumpy body usually prefers the beaten down couch against the wall, but for some reason your nerves drove you to the floor today. You're nervous because today's the day you finally decided to start helping.

You've had your powers for a little over a year now, but nobody's ever seen you use them. After all, this isn't a movie. This is real life. Nobody's trying to take over the world or lay waste to a continent. Sure, you could use your powers to try to impress some girls, but the overflowing mush pile that is your torso would certainly inhibit that effort. After a while, it was this kind of thinking that started to make you feel guilty. You're the closest thing to a walking god this planet has ever seen. And all you can think of is what - how that might get you laid? That's not how your mother raised you.

Your mother passed away a little over a year and a half ago. So technically, this isn't your mother's house anymore. It's yours. You still sleep in the basement though; it'd just feel weird sleeping in her room. You got your powers after she died, but if she knew you had them, she'd want you to use them for good. The problem is, you don't really know how to get the word out there. Furthermore, you've never really liked being the center of attention, so lifting a bus with each arm in the middle of town isn't really your style.

You decided to hang up posters advertising a local hero with the tagline "No Problem Too Small". You created an email address where requests for help can pour in. You drag yourself off the floor and over to your computer. Four emails have come in so far.

Which email title do you decide to address?

A) "Someone's stolen my car!"
B) "My husband's gone missing!"
C) "My coworker Janice won't stop swearing at me in the office."
D) "I think the bartender at Julio's Tavern is racist."
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You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave.