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TopicCYOA: You're a socially awkward superhero with no villains to fight.
HotLap
08/18/17 2:03:42 AM
#18:


Janice beckons you to lean in close. "I've been here for thirty years," she whispers, "and I'll say whatever the fuck I want to."
"Hey now, Janice. Come on-" you begin.
"I won't be bossed around by some uptight slut and her sweaty shitstain of a brother," she interrupts.
Why were you automatically the brother? You couldn't have possibly been the boyfriend? "Fuck you, you cracked ancient ashtray."
"Get the fuck outta my face, you limp dick," she retorts.
Katie rests her hands on your shoulder and gently tries to pull you away. "Dried up catcher's mitt lookin' motherfucker."
"Eat my ass, fatso."
"Stop cussing, you two-years-away-from-death lookin' colostomy bag," you add, proud to use an curse-free insult.
"It's not working," Katie says, still trying to pull you away to no avail.
"Screw you too, Katie," Janice calls out.
"Well that's an improvement," you whisper to Katie. "Technically not a swear and she called you by your real name."
"Blown out little fuckslut," Janice adds in.

"Okay," you breathe in heavily and turn back to face Janice again when the fly buzzes to your right. Acting on instinct, your hands clap together in an attempt to kill the fly. As they collide, a wave of force erupts from your hands and rushes towards the direction your fingers are pointing. The wave slams into cubicle walls across from Janice and Katie's, sending some flying backwards towards the wall and just splintering some entirely. Other coworkers who have been not-so-stealthily watching this old woman and neckbeard argue are sent flying from their office chairs. Some are caught in the cubicle storm and are buried while others are sent speeding into the drywall. The result is a unstable jungle gym made of fractured cubicle walls and panicked office workers that's been pushed to the corner of the room.

"Ah shit," you mutter as you try to determine the severity of the damage you've just caused. Half of the office is destroyed for sure and can no longer be used to drive revenue for Sloan Harbor Insurance. On the bright side, you detect no fatalities from the accident. You start to hear moans of pain from the wreckage.

Katie looks shocked and devastated. Janice just looks annoyed. "Now look what you've done, you piece of shit."
Your eye twitches as the fly lands on your cheek. Did this goddamn bitch just cuss at you again?

What do you do?

A) End Janice.
B) Just maim Janice by taking one of her legs.
C) Cut out Janice's tongue.
D) You've caused enough damage to this office. Flee.
---
You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave.
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