LogFAQs > #902310243

Managed to avoid it for over 10 years, so I guess that's commendable.

tl;dr: I pointed out my MIL's hypocrisy when she started talking about how her daughter (my wife's sister) holds unreasonable grudges, since she does the same thing. Now, she says she can no longer view me as a son-in-law and friend. She says she has to regard our relationship as employer/employee since she babysits for my wife and I.

She's pretty much proving my point.

Some backstory (Names changed to protect the innocent): My mother-in-law (Cindy) has harbored a grudge against my wife's best friend (Becky), going on two decades now. This grudge predates my meeting my wife (Dave) by a considerable stretch of time.

The catalyst for this grudge? In a moment of drunken stupidity, Becky mentioned that Cindy's boyfriend at the time was a lot younger than her. That's it. Later, this grudge would be exacerbated by Dave choosing to live with Becky while she went to college. Cindy took this personally, even though the decision made sense as both Dave and Becky went to the same college, and the college plus Dave's job were closer to Becky's house. Cindy saw this as Becky "stealing" her daughter away...

This is far from Cindy's only grudge. Just the earliest example I'm aware of.

Now, my sister-in-law (Fergie) dated Cindy's neighbor briefly a few years ago, but the neighbor ended it because, much like Cindy, Fergie is batshit insane.

Couple weeks back, Cindy's father died, neighbor shows up at the funeral to press F, and Fergie loses her shit, at the church while they're wheeling the casket in, demands Cindy force the neighbor to leave.

Yesterday, Cindy was venting to me about this, and I mentioned that she has this same personality trait, pointing out her issue with Becky as an example. I knew it was a mistake the moment the words left my mouth.

In 10 years, I've never had an issue with Cindy. We had, by all accounts, a loving and respectful relationship. I knew she was in therapy and had some deep issues she was working through, but never imagined I'd be one of her grudges, but here I am.

Mental illness can be a real bitch. Not sure how to play my cards now.
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