Do you drink cause it gives you more confidence making you better at social situations?
Sometimes just for funsies, I rarely socialize tbh BUT it does ameliorate some of my social anxiety and helps a bit (so long as I'm tipsy and not shitfaced)
Dunno if that's a good mix with trust issues but smoliske seems harmless from what I seen and you said you don't get shitfaced.
I sometimes get shitfaced but it's usually when I'm alone and just goofing off and watching anime. Also @smoliske accidentally poked my lip with a french fry so he's not harmless tbh
Just don't #Metoo him. Getting shitfaced solo is boring. I actually prefer sober over it if im alone. But it also makes me socially relaxed so I don't get anxiety from crowd attention. I actually thrive on it when Im drunk lol.
I'm sorta the same? Definitely the second part, but I don't get bored when drinking solo. Quite the opposite, being sober while by myself is boring as fuck. Not actually interested in socializing at all when sober. I pull it off incidentally but it's taxing. If I'm not at least tipsy, I need to be on some sort of mission... something where I have a purpose and position above trivial random mingling.
My anxiety doesn't stop at just social. Doesn't really follow a clear pattern. It's there or it's not, even if it objectively doesn't need to be. Stuff like relaxing and letting guard down... that just doesn't exist when I'm sober, and never has, even years and years before I ever tried drinking, dating back probably before I can remember. There's always some kind of threat.
I feel you in a bunch of those points as I'm a big drinker myself; you need help. ---