LogFAQs > #911720205

>Evi: Negotiate to the nearest tavern

Tavern? Do they even have taverns here? Is alcohol (hopefully) a thing here? Only one way to find out.

You stand tall, pretending like this guard did not just point a deadly weapon at you. "Business? I got a business date with a lil' lady named booze!"

Oh, looks like you can stop pretending, since the guard points it at you again, even closer to you. "I am not one for jest."

You raise your hands. "Whoa there! A lil' stab-happy, aintcha? I'm just tryin' t'find a tavern 'ere!"

He pulls back his spear. "If you shall not state your business, then I must turn you back. Forcefully!" he shouts as he lunges right at you.

Heck. Taverns? Weren't you trying to get to the throne? Why'd you even think about talking about taverns? You don't remember being this much of an alcoholic.

>Idk man I just specialize in funny answers

Wonderful. You think about all the ways you could get a joke out of getting your throat impaled as not to disappoint. Sadly you might have to disappoint.

As always.

Suddenly, black smoke rises from your finger. It quickly forms into a wall, which halts the guard's attack.

The smoke then winds up into a javelin, then flies right through the guard, killing him instantly.

Before you have time to be taken aback, you see Peon descend in front of you, pointing forward.

They pant a little. "That's it...mortal! Keep producing that miasma! With it, we'll be able to power through this Kingdom's paltry defenses!"

You're not sure where it's really coming from, but you nod and push forward. Though, forward isn't too far now, since the castle is right in plain view now.

From the very top of it, a black firework goes off, followed by the sound of thunderous metallic footsteps.

A pair of guards, looking just like the last one, burst from the metal gates of the castle front with spears in hand.

Peon readies a battle stance. "Alright mortal! Prepare the miasma!"

You look to your finger and try really hard to force it out, but instead you sneeze. "I...I ain't sure how, Peon! I think it just kinda happens."

"They approach with haste! You have no choice in the matter here, mortal!"

You try even harder, to the point where your hand's shaking. Still, nothing comes out. "It's not working...I can't do it, Peon."

Your hand lowers back to your side before you could realize it's starting to smoke up again.

"I guess I'll just...die bein' a failure. Sorry I couldn't be a good escort t'ya, Peon--"

Looking up, you suddenly realize that Peon's covered in dense black smoke. It then erupts into shadowy tendrils which impale the guards up ahead. "Wonderful, mortal! You truly are a Fallen! Now, onwards!"

You blink a bit. This miasma stuff just isn't making sense to you. Regardless, you nod reluctantly and run through the gate.

Once inside, you see a large room with gothic furnishing, as well as a staircase complete with angry guards running towards you.

Peon uses the leftover miasma to shank them with shadow quills, dispatching them. "Up the stairs, mortal. And get ready to produce more miasma for the coming army!"

You make your way up the stairs which the guards ran through. "I still ain't sure how it comes out, Peon. My fingers won't listen t'me." You continue up the stairs, still trying to force miasma out, but to no avail. "Nobody listens t'me. Not even myself."

Smoke starts clouding your vision, but it clears up once Peon absorbs it into a shadowy forcefield around themselves. "Are you sure, mortal? It seems to be pouring out naturally!"
---

How to open a door, Step one: https://imgur.com/EWKRS
For those with pants - https://tinyurl.com/strangebutyourollwithit