LogFAQs > #938159003

Why do you say that? We have fucking kids, she's not just going to leave me locked in a garage.
"And what a great role model to those children you are. Meanwhile she's always striving for something better. Gunning for a promotion, learning a foreign language, hell - she volunteered at a law office FOR FUN. She has always been willing to put in the hard work. But you?... I have no idea what's going on outside this garage. The one thing I'm absolutely sure of is that if you locked yourself in here, it was clearly the easier option. You pathetic fucking loser."

Jesus Christ what's so wrong with being content? So what if I don't want more responsibility? You ready, asshole? Here are my goals. I want to lay in hammock on a Saturday afternoon. I want those TV style neighbors where we're so close we can drop in unannounced. I want hear about my wife's day when she comes through the door. I want to snuggle with my kids under a fluffy blanket and show them a movie I loved when I was their age. I want to watch a football game with my dad and have a few laughs. I want to take the same vacation to someone else's lake house every summer. I want to do nothing because some of the best memories I have are of doing nothing with people I love. Don't get me wrong, I love how ambitious Maddie is. That's why we work. She's striving for the future, and I keep us in the now. She pushes me to be better and I keep her grounded.
"... You know some people consider being grounded a punishment, right?"
Hey FUCK YOU, man.
"No fuck you, you lazy piece of shit. Bending over backwards to try to justify your own unwillingness to improve."
Well, fucking explain you then.
"I'm the part of you that's fed up with your bullshit. I'm the part of you that doesn't want to eat reheated food in an unheated garage until we die. I'm the part of you that would get shit done if you let me. I'm probably what made your wife so successful."
If you're what's in her head, she needs me more than I previously thought possible.
"Well if she's waiting for you to come through, she'll be waiting a long time. Needing you might as well be a death sentence."
So what's your solution? Berate me until I put a bullet through the both of us.
"That certainly would be the easiest option, wouldn't it?"
It would shut you up.
"I just want you to give a shit. I'm fucking you, smart guy. If you think I'm mean, it's clearly because you think you deserve the abuse."
...Maybe you're right.
"Fucking duh, dipshit."
Well, half-right maybe. You're mainly just a cruel prick, but...

I reopen the freezer, grab a bag of frozen green beans, and toss them in the microwave. While they're cooking, I lower myself to the dusty floor and start doing push-ups.
"Form's not great, but-"
Don't.
"Okay."
You may be right about my recent complacency, but you're dead wrong about Maddie. She needs me. And I need her. It's about time we get back to her, wherever she may be.
"Okay. There's a sledgehammer leaning against the wall. Let's bash a hole in the side of this bitch."
Shit, I kept trying the doors because I could at least close those again. Sledgehammering the wall seems kinda final.
"I think we're done with this place, don't you?"

I grab the sledgehammer and start bashing into the back wall. Before long, I've got a hole large enough to peer through and see into my backyard. It's been so long since I've seen anything outside of this room. Smiling, my eyes glance over the plastic chairs around the fire pit, the kids' swingset, and the group of rotting corpses that were attracted to the noise and have gathered behind the chainlink fence.
"Oh SHIT, it was fucking ZOMBIES, bro. Thaaaaat's why we're in here. Okay, okay, okay. I... I was way in the wrong here. We actually have a pretty sweet set up."
I take a step back, bring the hammer around, and slam a couple more inches of hole into the wall.
"Whoa, whoa, hey. I get it. You don't have anything else to prove to me. We didn't even eat our green beans yet."
Another whack. More debris breaks loose.
"Did you not hear me when I said ZOMBIES?"
Finally, enough of the wall has broken away that I can easily wedge myself through into the backyard.

Yep. I heard you.

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You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave.