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TopicKamek Ranks & Rates Anything Mario Party Related
Kamekguy
05/05/20 1:28:11 AM
#124:


Opening Cinematic (MP1)
https://i.imgur.com/FrIRxg6.gif

What is this? What does this accomplish? What are they doing? What has Luigi, specifically, ever done to either of these men? Is this character development? Luigi gets absolutely SHIT on through this entire opening sequence, having zero of the qualities that Toad, who is apparently the divine God of the Mario world who determines who its true champion is, is looking for. And in the end, Luigi gets absolutely nothing. This is, of course, until Mario Party 3, where Luigi is the canon hero, overcoming all of the other, actual traits of Super Stardom and even Shadow Luigi and his girlfriend who lifts. This started a multi-part arc for Luigi, who wasn't even the focus, but took Toad's words to heart harder than anyone else. However, this cutscene does not have Bowser in it. Whenever Bowser is not on-screen, I find myself asking, "hey, where's Bowser?" This is no exception.

Wario
If there was one true hero of Mario Party, it'd be Wario. Implied by lazy translation that he was the winner of Mario Party 1 ("Wario said since he's the Super Star, it should be named Wario Land"), Wario is an absolute gem whenever he appears. Wario basically carries the game's personality on his pudgy, melded-into-his-neck-and-fat shoulders, being just the right combination of triumphantly mocking in success and frustratedly dumbfounded in defeat. Even swapping over to Martinet as a permanent voice, Wario remained great, having just the right mix of obnoxiousness and smarminess to carry him. Wario's Battle Canyon is perhaps the most brilliant bit of characterization - Wario is essentially inviting a race war into his home and profiting off of it, then taking credit for ending a prejudice that even Mario himself couldn't solve in Mario 64, as evidenced by Bob-omb being his partner in Mario Party 3. Wario is history's greatest criminal, and is intensely lovable for it.

His track record in unique items is.a bit spotty. Duel Mode Wario is the worst character in the game - a 3 salary for a guaranteed 1 damage if he rolls big isn't good in ANY circumstance unless specifically against DK, who can't hit him back. But as DK has a winning match-up against Daisy and.a good one against Luigi, who are FAR higher on the tier list than Wario could ever pretend to be, Wario doesn't exactly gain much ground beating the second-worst in the mode. Dueling Glove is an awful signature item just due to the sheer cost of the thing meaning you're operating at a net loss no matter what, and the Vacuum orb, as mentioned with Waluigi, is a mid-tier, luck-based disruption tool. However, when Wario shines, he SHINES. His Super Duel Mode vehicle is as durable as it is powerful, making him an actual challenge to compete against on most terrains. And in Super Mario Party, the guy is absolutely Top 3 in the game. While he isn't UTTERLY busted like DK or Bowser, a spread of -2, -2, 6, 6, 6, 6 is something that most characters could only dream of. This guarantees the maximum amount of progress you could get from a normal roll OR a stall at the space you're on. And sure, you lose two coins, but that's a small price to pay for rolling 0. Being able to farm events can be utterly busted, and with the only other option being "roll big", it makes Wario utterly devastating in 90% of circumstances. Of all the original partiers, Wario has the best track record across the series for a combination of annoying, enjoyable, powerful, and actually being playable. Games feel complete and like Mario Party with him in them.

Bowser's Unique Enemy Dialogue (MP10)
https://i.gyazo.com/c1ffa6f0fed5d3b564cc0b8f8d2c3e39.jpg

I love little details like this. The Mario Party series generally does really well with this, with the Bowser Suit and the like, and this adds to this mystique of Bowser as a larger-than-life figure who deserves to be feared and hated for ruining your day for laughs. I love how it carries over to Super, where if he lands on Kamek's bad luck space, Kamek will be cowering, terrified that he has to pull out the roulette on Bowser. It's a cute little detail - doesn't amount to much, but it's cute.

Cry Bones (MP8)
Thank god that team names came back for MP8 instead of "Team Seagull" and "Team Dolphin". This, as I had hoped before looking it up to confirm, is the team of Luigi and Dry Bones. It is perfect. Just utterly ace pun game here. I can't help but admire and adore it.

Item Bag (MP3)
The only game (out of two, admittedly, but we've been over that 4 sucks at items and boards) where the Item Bag is truly interesting and useful! Due to the split in shop systems - Toad and Baby Bowser having different inventories - choosing an Item Bag based on what shop spawns is not only viable, but can be the difference between life or death. In general, ignore the Toad bag and dump your hard earned cash into the Baby Bowser Bag - get a chance at Reverse Shrooms on the common, plus Bowser Phones, Boo Bells, and the Lucky Lamp, all great disruption tools. The sheer amount of stuff you get at once greatly outweighs the potential benefits of Toad's selection, where specifically buying a Magic Lamp, Golden Mushroom (which are only 10 in this game and that's mental), or Boo Repellent rather than pulling for it will likely serve you better than BB's catch-all chaos. However, the BIG allure of the Item Bag is that it's got a chance of pulling out a Rare item. For Toad, the Rare items will always be the Koopa Card or Barter Box, while Baby Bowser will always have the Lucky Emblem or Wacky Watch. As to be expected, Baby Bowser's got the MUCH better deal here, as the Koopa Card is very passive and the Barter Box is best used when you only have it available - something the Item Bag doesn't allow for as it fills up your inventory very quickly. Is it necessarily reliable? No, not at all. But I think it's more worth it than a Boo Bell if you're down and can't immediately afford a Star Steal, or are in first and roll Baby Bowser's shop since you can't get Boo Repellant from him. Not the most practical item, but a fun chance at pulling ahead that's worth taking in certain situations.

Curvy Curbs (MP5)
A mini-game that would be significantly better with one very simple change: instead of putting you at a dead stop, simply slow the momentum of the vehicle upon impact with curves, more harshly the worse of an angle the wheel would come in at. Considering that Bobsled Run and Filet Relay could accomplish this no problem, I see no reason why Curvy Curby couldn't do the same. As-is, it's an auto-scroller that favors the single player as they only have ONE person to worry about being bad at the game. And honestly, it's not that hard to be bad at it - that curve right before the gingerbread house is VERY tight and hard to avoid smacking into. But the fact that it's basically counting mistakes and you just hope that you don't get a draw really takes all of the tension out of it. I think it'd probably work better as a 2v2 as well, as there's just... no reason for it to be a 1v3. Music fits REALLY well for the mini-game, though.


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