LogFAQs > #940059364

The way I rationalise this is: how would you feel about the person your partner cheats with? Are they blameless for having sex with your partner?

Your partner is interested in seeing another person without you knowing. They find someone, they hit it off and they have sex. They know that what they're doing is wrong, and they do it anyway despite how you would feel about it.

The person they're cheating with knows that your partner isn't single. Despite knowing that there's another person who would be hurt by what they're doing, they do it anyway because it makes them feel good. In both cases, they're disregarding an innocent person in a committed relationship for their own selfish needs.

The onus of responsibility ultimately falls on the cheater for going through with the act while committed to someone else, but knowing that they're participating in the act of cheating and doing it anyway makes this other person equally as culpable. There's something to be said for someone who didn't know there was someone else in the picture, or who fell in love with someone before learning that they had a partner, or who was lied to about the cheater being in the process of leaving someone - but someone who enters the picture and knows from the get go that someone is in a relationship when they start courting them is arguably as bad as the person cheating.

Both of them have zero regard for whoever's being cheated on, pursuing happiness at that person's expense. The bulk of the responsibility falls on the cheater, but the person they're cheating with is equally as culpable if they pursue the relationship with the intent of courting a person who's still in a relationship. They are just as bad.

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