LogFAQs > #948230261

TommyG663513 posted...

Physical attraction for me honestly boils down to her carrying a bit of extra weight. I can't phrase it any more delicately than that. This also ties into her not being all that athletic and being super avoidant of physical activity. She can be pretty lazy at times. It really isn't as much her body as it is her whole attitude about it. Her comment about a motorized bicycle really filled me with disgust and I can't tolerate going along with that idea in any minor way. I just can't. This is definitely a big issue and it really dwarfs my other concerns although those still have some importance.

Her body and attitude definitely effect my attraction towards her, but part of it is we've been together for a couple years and our work schedules don't really leave a lot of great time for sex. I mean, I'm sure it can be improved upon if we make ourselves a bit more available and try some new things out to make it a little fresh.

So yeah I need to be upfront with her about this more, but I've made comments about it and it didn't go great. I'm sure I can find a way to communicate this better, but I just don't know how receptive she will be. I'm just a highly competitive and physically active person so it's really difficult for me to be understanding of what her perspective is on this.

When I say she makes me laugh, my friends don't make me laugh like that. No one has ever come close to making me laugh like she does. It really is a special trait that holds a lot of value for me.

Yeah the political stuff and the issue with her dad are more minor. Yeah she is resistant to both, but agreeable enough. I can especially understand her being hesitant to take my side over her dad's, because well it is her dad.

I wish I could get more of a family aspect from her, but it's fine. She's really close to her two gay uncle's and her grandma and they've all been really nice to me and I like them back. She just doesn't prioritize her dad nearly as heavily as them in terms of what she considers family.

I'm really not gonna pretend to be an expert here. The biggest thing I've learned from this is how little I understand all the facets of a relationship. We are both in by far our longest relationship with each other right now so neither one of us comes with a ton of experience.

I'm 31 and she is 28.

Had to delete some of your response to fit under the character limit.

So all things considered, you've mentioned that her physical appearance and lack of athletic ability are the two biggest factors. Generally you can't force people to change, especially if they don't want to, so I wouldn't expect her to suddenly become athletic. If this is a deal breaker for you, then I think you may have your answer.

When you started dating her, did you know she wasn't athletic? When did this become an issue? I could see why it would be hard to communicate this with her for multiple reasons: A) she's taken it poorly in the past, and B) It's a conversation that could potentially lead to you breaking up.

I imagine she has some idea that her lack of interest in athleticism is a problem that's affecting you and the relationship? Has she mentioned how she plans to address this before, or is she simply ignoring this issue altogether?

Does her ability to make you laugh outweigh the fact that she isn't athletic?

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~~Every day I'm husseling and busseling~~