LogFAQs > #948807897

An IRL friend asked for a wellness check since I didn't answer the phone, To be fair, they were calling from an unknown number and I usually don't pick up because of so many scam callers these days. Anyways, two police officers came to the house and asked if everything was okay. Unfortunately, my parents were home so they found out. When the police officers left, my parents did not ask me if everything was alright or if I was fine. It was nothing but disappointment. The first words to come out of their mouths was concern about what the neighbors would think and our family's reputation in the neighborhood. Then, they accused my diagnosis of clinical depression to be nothing but attention seeking. Finally, they talked about how I have nothing to be upset about and I need to get over myself and get it together for school. My parents are getting older so they want me to be successful so that I can help take care and support them.

I don't think they actually care about my personal well being. I was involved in a car accident last year and when I called them, they did not ask me if I or anyone else involved was alright. I was instantly blamed and called a disappointment. There has been many incidents where I was hurt or whatever but they would just not express any concern at all for me. My family is not supportive which is why I think it's best for me to get an apartment and get out of my parent's house as it is a toxic environment. I don't really talk about my youth a lot and there's a reason for that. There's the molestation incident and then there's the abusive household I grew up in. I was always told that I had no free will or choice. My parents owned me and my life. They gave birth to me and they could easily end me if I stepped out of line. That was the motto.

As a young child, I often watched my sister be beaten and chocked into unconsciousness whenever she acted out of line. Her screams and cries for help filled the house late into the night many times. My sister was abusive in her own way. She even used to beat her ex bf's dog which is probably why they broke up but not even she deserved to be treated like that. I never wanted that to happen to me so I studied hard in school and stayed out of all trouble. My classmates often asked me why I never spoke. I never said the truth but it was out of fear of what my parents would do they found out I said something they didn't like. Even by doing that, I still ran into problems. There were times where I said something that made my mother upset so my father would come into my room while I was asleep and throw me out of my bed. Some nights, I was forced to go without dinner as a lesson.

Going into adulthood, I still ran into problems. My mother doesn't like white people for instance. Recently, I was dating a really sweet girl. Thought I hit the lottery with her. She was a big fan of video games and anime like myself. She also worked as a model so she was very pretty and very sweet. The nicest person you could meet. She made me happy which is the important thing but she was white and my mother hated that. Since my brother and sister are deemed "lost causes" in the romance department, my mother keeps pushing for me to date and marry a black woman. She thinks black people should only date each other. She also wants her grandchildren to look like her. She called my ex out of her name several times and was overall very nasty to her. It made my ex feel uncomfortable and unwanted by my family. My ex has always had terrible anxiety issues so eventually, this was too much for her and she broke it off with me. While this made me highly upset, my mother loved to hear the news. Saying I can do much better than "that crazy white girl" and find a nice black woman.

With an apartment, I'm just hoping to find some resemblance of peace. It would be nice to be able to eat lunch on a Sunday without being harassed since that's forbidden in my family. It would be nice to eat the cooking of my partner without my mother harassing me about it. Saying all kinds of wild stuff like how they poisoned my food and whatnot. It would nice not to be called a loser for decorating my room with stuff that I like such as movie/game posters for example.

Anyways, that's all I got. I could go on about what it was like for me growing up since I've barely scratched the surface but what's important is that I should try to leave this house sooner than later.