LogFAQs > #950505928

LinkPizza posted...

What made it difficult?

Looking back, my illness, I just didn't realize thats what it was. I had lots of depression and brain fog and I was always exhausted. I also just hated doing work and my body does not function well on a 24 hour schedule. While some of my dislike for doing work is assuredly being lazy and depressed and cause most people don't like work, it seems obvious now that it was more than that. My head would just go blank after working for more than like 10 minutes.

Also my parents divorced and I switched schools like 4 times before dropping out. I was really stressed about the future cause I know you have to work but I couldn't see a life where I had to work that was worth living. Part of that was definitely just unrealistic expectations of what life is. I was raised with the fairly standard do well in school, get into a good college, get a high paying career and start a family mindset so when that seemed like it wouldn't work for me, it just seemed like I was doomed. Course now I realize theres a ton of ways to be happy and enjoy life and plenty of them don't require that path through life.

In school the difficulty also finally started to catch up to me. I'd always been considered extremely gifted academically when I was younger so naturally I never studied and rarely did homework. Around the start of highschool though it started to catch up and not studying in some of the advanced classes I was in was for the first time leaving me confused. After so many years of habit it was hard to switch up my perspective and it kind of felt like I was a bit of a fraud and not actually very smart at all when realistically I was still quite smart, I just needed to put in a little bit of effort here and there.

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