LogFAQs > #952416822

For context, I am a mid-30s marshmallow who can get exceedingly peevish and swear like Brian Blessed after ghost pepper enemas (Not Brian Peppers after blessed ghost enemas). I would never dream of hurting another human being and have only been in one fistfight in my adult life. Despite that, I feel like learning a martial art.

My dad tried to teach me how to box when I was a teenager. I came from a long line of boxers, but that tradition died with me. My dad thought I was gay for years, until I brought someone home who happened to be a girl. Little did he know, the someones who werent girls I didnt bring home.

He still told everyone at my 21st how glad he was I turned out to be a rampaging heterosexual. Even my girlfriend at the time knew that was a load of crap. It was very embarrassing for everyone involved except for him.

The funny thing is, he thought my mum just had very close female friends. Very close female friends shed go to nude beaches and poetry bars with. They were a thing here in the 70s to 90s.

A few years after he died, my mum tried to give me a talk to prepare me for the fact her next partner could be female. I was just like yeah, Mum. I just assumed that would be the case.

Its kind of sad, because as far as I know she hasnt been seeing anyone, and I dont want her to think Id judge her harshly if she started dating again. Its been years, she deserves to be happy, you know?

Anyway, I digress. Id be interested in learning a martial art, but its not to be able to fuck people up. As silly as it sounds, the gentler the martial art the better. Perhaps one thats big on the mental discipline and reacting defensively. Rather than the stuff you see on TV which seems to be how quickly can I get this guy in a position I can punch his testicles until he sees into the future.

---

Have I carved enough, my Lord?
Child, you are a bone