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Topic	How the fuck did the 40 year old virgin become reality for so many
ParanoidObsessive 07/16/21 4:26:54 PM #36:	faramir77 posted... My friends aren't a conditional relationship, there aren't set parameters or expectations to meet for them to continue being your friend. There absolutely are, you're just less consciously aware of them because you spend less time with them and don't share personal resources (start a business or share a bank account with your friends and see how long it is because things start feeling really "conditional"). Every social interaction in human history has implicit expectations and requirements built in regardless of whether or not you're aware of them. The sad thing is, the relationships that tend to be the least demanding are also the ones that are the most shallow and casual. If you truly have friends who expect absolutely nothing, I'd argue that you don't actually have friends at all, merely "acquaintances". faramir77 posted... If you have to put a conscious effort into maintaining a relationship, your partner doesn't love you. It should come naturally. This is not, nor has it ever been for the entirety of human history, how the concept of "love" works. Even parents who swear they love their children unconditionally can find that love strained (or outright dying) if their kids act like total shits. Obligation is hard-coded into every social interaction for anyone who isn't an absolute doormat with zero self-esteem (which is incredibly unhealthy in its own way). This premise actually touches on something I've complained about in the past though, which is that a lot of media (especially Disney) have sort of established this idea that "true love" is a thing, that everyone has a "soulmate" who is a magically perfect match, and that "the one" exists for everyone. Combine that with concepts like "love at first sight", and it can lead to incredibly destructive attitudes and lead to toxic relationships, because people (like you) are utterly unwilling to compromise in any way and assume the instant you have a conflict in your relationship that you're just with the wrong person and should break up immediately. Or that if you don't have instant and powerful chemistry with someone the moment you first meet, that you're not "destined" to be together. That's a very modern way of thinking - and it's a very psychologically unhealthy one. faramir77 posted... Maybe that's unrealistic but I wouldn't accept anything less for myself. Have fun being alone forever. --- "Wall of Text'D!" --- oldskoolplayr76 "POwned again." --- blight family <cite>ParanoidObsessive posted [p:956151669] in How the fu... [t:79566977]...</cite> <quote><cite>faramir77 posted...</cite> <quote>My friends aren't a conditional relationship, there aren't set parameters or expectations to meet for them to continue being your friend.</quote> There absolutely are, you're just less consciously aware of them because you spend less time with them and don't share personal resources (start a business or share a bank account with your friends and see how long it is because things start feeling really "conditional"). Every social interaction in human history has implicit expectations and requirements built in regardless of whether or not you're aware of them. The sad thing is, the relationships that tend to be the least demanding are also the ones that are the most shallow and casual. If you truly have friends who expect absolutely nothing, I'd argue that you don't actually have friends at all, merely "acquaintances". <cite>faramir77 posted...</cite> <quote>If you have to put a conscious effort into maintaining a relationship, your partner doesn't love you. It should come naturally.</quote> This is not, nor has it ever been for the entirety of human history, how the concept of "love" works. Even parents who swear they love their children unconditionally can find that love strained (or outright dying) if their kids act like total shits. Obligation is hard-coded into every social interaction for anyone who isn't an absolute doormat with zero self-esteem (which is incredibly unhealthy in its own way). This premise actually touches on something I've complained about in the past though, which is that a lot of media (especially Disney) have sort of established this idea that "true love" is a thing, that everyone has a "soulmate" who is a magically perfect match, and that "the one" exists for everyone. Combine that with concepts like "love at first sight", and it can lead to incredibly destructive attitudes and lead to toxic relationships, because people (like you) are utterly unwilling to compromise in any way and assume the instant you have a conflict in your relationship that you're just with the wrong person and should break up immediately. Or that if you don't have instant and powerful chemistry with someone the moment you first meet, that you're not "destined" to be together. That's a very modern way of thinking - and it's a very psychologically unhealthy one. <cite>faramir77 posted...</cite> <quote>Maybe that's unrealistic but I wouldn't accept anything less for myself. </quote> Have fun being alone forever. --- "Wall of Text'D!" --- oldskoolplayr76 "POwned again." --- blight family</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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