FCW - February 5, 2012
Hey, we got Regal and Byron this show! Wonderful. First match is Audrey Marie & Kaitlyn vs Raquel Diaz & Sofia Cortez (aka Isabelle from Tough Enough).
Regal: What a wonderful job I have.
Byron: Kaitlyn is like that girl next door who will bake you a pie with a smile if you ask.
Regal: The girl next door for me in Liverpool was a drag queen.
Byron: Oh. Well that's unfortunate.
Regal: She had a limp and a lisp.
Hahaha. Sofia challenges Kaitlyn to a test of strength and then loses horribly.
Regal: What we need here in FCW is a nurse. I've got a thing for nurses. You never know where their hands have been, do we?
Byron: I think this is becoming a show in itself. Audrey, so hot. Sofia is hot as hell too. That ass.
Byron: Some people describe Raquel Diaz as pompously conniving.
Regal: There's nothing wrong with that. I find that's a wonderful trait. I would put that trait over honesty and integrity to be completely honest with you.
Audrey wins it after a victory roll with the bridge. Actually not a bad match. They keep hyping up Bo Rotundo's return. I seriously don't get why he's been pushed so much.
OMG DAMIEN SANDOW PROMO! He gives an intense promo about how he's going to make sure Richie's next match will be his absolute last.
OH GOD NO! Eli Cottonwood is back! And he's about to drag Corey Graves down with him! Why!? Why does Eli Cottonwood still have a job!? Corey Graves looks particularly Aussie thug-like.
Regal: Would you let Eli Cottonwood babysit your children?
Byron: Uuuuuuh.... If he were the last babysitter around? Probably not.
Regal: No.
But it gets better! The match is Brad Maddox & Briley Pierce vs Eli Cottonwood & Corey Graves! Yaaaay! Brad Maddox now has an arm guard that says PUNCH! on it. That is the most glorious thing. He also shaved his insane chin hair. Honestly? Not the best match. Briley is coming along in a way to make his brother proud. Brad didn't get too much offense. And then Eli Cottonwood won it by doing a really awkward chokeslam on Briley. For those wondering, Eli Cottonwood still sucks. Really badly.
Ahahaha next is a segment with Abraham Washington laying on James Bronson's couch and ranting about how he's not crazy like Dave Chapelle or Martin Lawrence and keeps rambling until Bronson tells him to stop. He tells him not to worry and puts his hand on Abe's pec, making Abe go "Eeeeeeeh" like he was creeped out. lol Abe goes about ranting while Bronson prepares. Then James turns around, tells Abe that it will only take a second, then reveals a medical glove with KY Jelly on it. Abe goes "Heeeeell no" and peaces out. Omg.
Next up is Leakee vs Dean Ambrose vs Seth Rollins for number one contendership. Ambrose starts the match by talking trash to William Regal from inside the ring. It's a great match and Regal talks a lot about how Ambrose is getting to him and such. The finish comes with Ambrose nailing the Knee Trembler on Rollins and then setting him up for the Midnight Special. But then Leakee gets in the ring and lifts up both men for a double Samoan Drop. That is literally the first and only time I have EVER been impressed by Leakee. Consider that. Leakee hits his Check Mate on Ambrose and gets the win. Leakee is our number one contender.
Then there's a backstage segment where Regal is flirting with Danielle, but Maxine runs in and looks pissed and demands he come into her office. Regal has nothing to say about that.
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