And uh who's Big Show's random partner today. Oh, of course, it's the other guy who partners with everyone.
Dudley Boyz vs. Big Show & Kane
Charles Robinson is wearing that WWF uniform now, looks weird.
Big guys are dominating from the start. D-Von doesn't want to tag in. Everyone's in the ring pretty quick, Dudleys getting splashed left and right.
Kane goes to the top and leaps to the outside! Big Show finds Stacy and pulls her skirt down? What? And he spanks her, Lawler must be super jealous. Who booked this.
Somehow this opens up the Dudleys to do a wassup on Kane. 3D coming, nope, Kane with a big boot. Kane's in to help Big Show, they collide by mistake. Big Show is mad.
Bubba ducks and Big Show collides with Kane again. Exposed turnbuckle, 3D onto it and they pin Big Show.
Lita's sorry and Matt doesn't respond. DRAMA.
Undertaker's kissed a lot of asses? Oh, he turned on JR of all people. He wants respect and he's going after RVD.
Hardcore match: Undertaker vs. Rob Van Dam
Fans are going with the RVD chant. RVD's trying to pound away quickly, flying off the top with a flip. Taker's thrown out a couple big boots already too.
Out to the crowd they go. There's a bunch of guys with a Mexican flag, Taker steals it to choke RVD. RVD with a moonsault in the crowd! A steel barricade falls on RVD's face and Taker walks right over it.
RVD with a fire extinguisher and trash can and he's climbing the stairs. He dives over the railing, luckily it looks like there was a padded landing area where he goes.
They're in behind the titantron now, and back to the entranceway. RVD's getting those two counts. Taker wants a last ride on the steel floor here, RVD goes up and grabs the set to escape. Rolling thunder and he gets a chair. Van daminator! Taker's still kicking out.
Another van daminator attempt misses, now Taker has a chair as a weapon. Van daminator misses again, Taker chokeslams RVD off the set and through some tables! Taker climbs down and wins the hardcore belt.
Jericho wants to prove to Flair he can win. Flair once again doesn't care who does.
Trish Stratus vs. Jacqueline
The fans want puppies more than anything in this match. Jacqueline with some kicks and bodyslams, and whoa she grabs a kick and does a takedown, more wrestling than expected here.
Trish botches a bridge cover. She goes for stratusfaction but can't get it. Trish goes for a backslide, somehow it's a three count. They shake hands after.
Why was kissing butts such a huge storyline the past month. I can't follow how this even started.
I guess we're all forgetting that Rikishi supposedly tried to run someone over with a car. Oh, and Rikishi is stuck in New York.
Finally they explain that we get kind of a mini-tournament for the main event.
Wait is Austin more face than Angle is now.
Kurt Angle vs. Steve Austin
Things start off cautiously. Austin starts brawling and Angle bails. Angle with a suplex and Austin bails.
WOOOO WOOOO lots of chops in this match. Lawler's had enough Ric Flair stuff.
Angle gets on an ankle lock, Austin can't get those ropes! Oh, he finally does. Angle's got Austin around the ring post now, he puts on the figure four around the post! Haven't seen that since Bret Hart days.
Suplex trio from Angle and he wants a moonsault. It misses, he's not very good at connecting moonsaults. Austin's got a Thesz press finally.
Austin is hitting a set of suplexes now and Angle gets in an olympic slam. Only a two count. Austin with a stunner and he wins.
--
ONLY FIVE CAN LADDER.
Sushi, kamikaze, fujiyama, nippon-ichi...