February 1993
Before we can kick off the main series we got four mini-series issues to plow through. I can tell just by the chrome dome burn on the cover that we got some cheese ahead of us.
"Don't Cry For Me Mobius" is the first story of the issue. Some differences from what we'll see in the future: Robotnik's got a slightly different design, Princess Sally is red (which I did not know about), and Rotor is called "Boomer" here. We start with Robotnik trying to mega-muck Sonic who of course is too fast for him. First great lines: Robotnik complains that Sonic jumping is not fair, which Sonic replies "All's fair in love and war, Doc...and this ain't love!" followed by the burn, "Then again, maybe it is! I do love to drive him crazy!" Siiiiick. Eventually Sonic gets trapped between Robotnik and a Caterkiller. Oh no, how will he ever get out of this one? If you guessed jump over a mega-muck which hits Caterkiller instead, you would be right. Sonic tells us, the readers, where Knothole Village is located. I wonder how long they keep up with the characters being aware that we're reading a comic. Tails tries to mimic running at sonic speed and ends up tripping over a rock. Poor guy. Part I ends with a water leakage in the village, which worries Antoine that Robotnik might use dreaded "trickle down" technology to find and destroy them.
Part 2 opens with Robotnik in his office, complete with a nameplate on his desk, which reads: "Dr. Robotnik: Supreme Dictator, Industrial Polluter, Megalomaniac, Corrupt Politician, Underhanded Reprobate, Rain Forest Ravager, Puppy Kicker, Oil Spill Coordinator, Holiday Hater, Insurance Salesman." Man, this guy is pure evil. Anyway, it turns out the leak is caused by weeping willow trees literally ****ing crying because Robotnik has been mowing down other trees in the forest. They get ambushed by Robotnik, who's dishing out the checker wrecker ball from the first game. Sonic finds a power ring hidden in a well and wrecks his ship, but Robotnik uses a Buzzbomber to escape. The Freedom Fighters then plant some saplings so the willows stop crying, and that wraps up this story.
Intermission showing us Sonic's Six Speed Settings: Sub-Sonic (when he's underwater), Ultra Sonic (faster than Carl Lewis. No I am not joking), Super-Sonic (faster than a cheetah), Trans-Sonic (faster than a car), Hyper-Sonic (faster than a jet), and Warp-Sonic (faster than the speed of light). Also we cannot neglect his Sonic Spin, which Sonic comments, "I'm feeling spine and dandy!" XFD
--
HBJ Dubs
~Project 1000~