Ragan: "-But really, you can solve this equation by going back to 'What Would Julie Do?' Julie Chen would cut it. Julie Chen, if that was her toenail, would probably have the entire toe removed. She would have toe-replacement surgery."
Brit: "I mean, I consider it worse than gangrene. If I were in a situation where it was 'keep that toenail or take off the whole leg'- just take it."
Hayden: "Clearly, amputate the leg in this situation."
Ragan: "Saw-style. Lock me in a room with somebody, give them the saw, and just say "the only way out of this room is to saw off the entire leg."
Hayden: "We have a guest appearance."
Matt: "What are you guys doin?"
Brit: "We have a talk show. Do you want to come be on it?"
Matt: "What's the talk show about?"
Brit: "Rules for upcoming Big Brother house guests. Is there anything for next season that you would like to let them know?"
Matt: "I don't fully understand it. Lemme sit down here."
Brit: "Okay, just have a seat."
*Matt sits down*
Brit: "Welcome Matt!"
Matt: "Thank you, it's great to be here."
Ragan: "So we just heard that you lost your pool table title in the Big Brother house. How did that feel?"
Matt: "I did, I did. It felt horrible. I think it was unfair. I think that Big Brother's against me."
Brit: "Yeah, probably."
Ragan: "I heard that there was a small ledge you were playing on."
Matt: "There's a ledge- the pool table is catered toward people with bigger feet."
Hayden: "Let's set the stage here. Matt is the reigning, back-to-back Big Brother pool table champion. You faced off against Clint (Lane) in the final."
Matt: "I did."
Hayden: "You were clearly the favorite to win this game."
Matt: "Clint wears a size 11. I wear a size 8. I mean, that speaks for itself."
Ragan: "So we're gonna catch you up on what's been said on our talk show so you can contribute, because you are our reigning Head of Household. Our show is geared toward people who would like to be contestants on Big Brother in the future, and we're trying to give them rules, tips, things to make gameplay a little more easier for them. So Rule #1 was-"
Brit: "-What Would Julie Chen Do?, in regards mostly to areola's, labia, discussions of tequila, vomit, stuff with one hundred dollar bills-"
Matt: "-And what have we decided?
Ragan: "The rule is-"
Brit: "-'WWJD'-"
Ragan: "-Right. If you're in a moment where you're thinking 'should I take out my v***** in the kitchen'- maybe stop just a moment and ask yourself "WWJD - What Would Julie Do?"
Matt: "That's good advice."
Ragan: "So do you think that Julie would expose her-"
Brit: "-Genitalia."
Matt: "I don't think Julie would do that. I think that, to a future contestant, I would say that exposing your genitalia on the kitchen table is not a sound decision."
Hayden: "That's a sound decision when you're at home with your significant other."
Matt: "Yeah. I mean, especially when you're in, like, a western region of the country, particularly. Maybe Nevada."
Brit: "Maybe Nevada."
Matt: "-ish. Generally the four corners."
Ragan: "Rule #2. If your toenail looks like this-"
Brit: "-This is intoelerable-"
Matt: "-That is toetally grotesque-"
Ragan: "If you are a saber-toed tiger, would you rather keep this toenail, or would you rather have the entire leg amputated?"
Matt: "I toen't know what I'd do in that situation."
Ragan: "You have to answer toenight."
Matt: "That's something I'll never face."