RAW
Wk. 2, 1/12
Pre-show: Beth celebrates how awesome she is (75); Shad (!) d. Primo (58); Gabriel is happy for Santino getting a shot (73)
-Punk is here again to ramble about the nWo and their agenda. HHH is powerless to hold them down! Speak of the devil, HHH has a problem with this statement. He holds the power here, and he has the ability to do things like, oh I dunno, book the entire nWo in matches, and if any of them lose, they're all out of the Rumble!
Rating: 92
-Match: Riley/Ryan v. Punk
The first challenge is obviously the POWER OF NUMBERS. Punk's able to overcome it, though, because these guys suck.
Rating: 71
-Match: Gabriel/Trish v. X-Pac/Serena
This is a bit more of an even playing field, but Serena's able to rollup Trish to keep the nWo alive.
Rating: 62
-Cena is here to remind us that he is totally going to beat the Rock! As an object lesson, he's gonna beat up some other third-gen ham sammich!
Rating: 89
-Match: McGillicutty v. Cena
And beat up a third-gen ham sammich he does!
Rating: 78
-WELLLLLLLLL. Show comes down to the ring and levels Cena with the ko punch!
Rating: 84
-Match: Otunga v. Masters
The nWo is in no real danger here, although Otunga does get in some offense.
Rating: 68
-Skip Sheffield comes out with a MIC instead of a jobber. He starts to complain that the roster is weak, but just then, something comes up on the tron! That's right, kids, it's a MYSTERIOUS AND SUPER VAGUE HYPE VIDEO! :D A narrator talks about the number 10 for a while, covering all sorts of trivia and meanings of the number. If I was online right now I'd look some up for you :\ Skip has no idea what to make of this, and leaves in a huff.
Rating: 72
-Match: Morrison v. JTG
JTG appears to have taken a level in badass after teaming with Cena last week. Against Tom!Morrison, though, he needs more than just the one.
Rating: 82
-Morrison is pretty excited about the Rumble. It's the perfect playground for his parkour skills! He's gonna win and stuff.
Rating: 93
-Match: Hurri-tino v. Slater and Drew
The US Champ will have none of this silliness. Hurricane can't keep up, and eats the pin. YES! YES! YES! YES!
Rating: 56
-Del Rio is backstage with ZigSwag and vickie. He calls Kane's attack on Ricardo last week inhumane and terrible. He's going to extract revenge tonight, and he AND these young lads are going to wipe Kofi off the face of the earth!
Rating: 91
-Street Fight: Dreamer v. Nash
This is probably the biggest nWo challenge of the evening. Nash is somehow able to keep Dreamer confined to the ring for the majority of the match, negating Dreamer's superior hardcore abilities. Nash eventually picks up a win after an intense fight. The nWo are going to the Rumble!
Rating: 77
-Punk and the gang come out to mock HHH for thinking it would be that easy to get rid of them.
Rating: 100
-Match: Kane/Air Boom v. Del Rio/ZigSwag
Pretty even match, but tonight Kofi has the momentum! MAYBE HE'LL WIN THE BELT YOU GUYZ
Rating: 82
Post-show: HHH argues he can still go even though nobody said he can't (90); HHH/Parka d. Reks/Hawkins (54)
Overall: 84 SUCCESS ANGLES HELPED
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~Tommeri Uranius Bombaldi the Fourth, esq.
If you can read this, I'm probably posting from my phone or something!