LogFAQs > #889441950

I am aware of this topic and would like to respond to it. (This is scarlet)

I am taking a break for a while from the board. The topic from this weekend was the straw that broke the camel's back but it's far from the only reason I feel like I should take a break. In short, I've been feeling very depressed lately - existentially and via my personal life. It used to be that the board was a nice safe haven, but with the Gauntlet crew having really decreased in activity, I've found that I don't have a positive outlet on the board. There are some great people here - some of the Gauntlet folks, APWT folks, I've recently found that Leonhart and Lopen seem like very genuinely nice guys. But elsewhere, I do feel like not only am I somewhat of a bully about people's positions on politics, but also that it is a topic full of nastiness. I mostly go into those topics to learn, but too often I come out feeling just a little worse for the wear.

And I'm aware that my personality has been hated by many. I have been involved in board drama which is always a complete turn-off, and I do have a much more abrasive personality online (something I've tried to reconcile).

The other day, however, was an especially rough day for me. I came into the board that night feeling just utterly drained and awful. I think on the board I'm prone to just take things way too hard in that state. Seeing, like, 20 people say what I interpreted in my head as "Scarlet is not only a joke poster, but the worst poster" was just hurtful to me. And not to mention that, whether it's funny to other people, having this slycooper situation has bothered me. Because, as I see it, it's an opportunity for some user to get away with consistently demeaning me while the board laughs it off as cute because it's an alt. I wish that individual would just say, "Hey, this is who I am, this is why I have a problem with you." I've never encountered a situation like this in real life, so I guess "Ha ha, scarlet stop taking a troll seriously" is applicable. But I'm going to, because that's my personality. So, in my screwed-up mind, I see a user kind of harassing me over time and like 20 other people who don't like me, or rather think I'm a joke. That is probably extremely stupid of me, but it's how I see it.

So I figured, why bother? It's not like people give too much of a shit about rating characters. Maybe I should try cutting my losses and say screw it to Board 8 as an outlet for a while.