LogFAQs > #905770362

Nade Duck posted...

lucas is a crazy idiot but he at least had a vision and put it together coherently even if parts of it were batshit insane.

Coherent? Really?

Let me see if I can rehash the plot of AotC. Courtesy spoiler for a 15 year old film.

The movie starts with an attack on Padme's life done by blowing up her shuttle. This fails and we're treated to a scene of Jango Fett talking with his partner, Zam, and deciding they need to do something subtle, because they are terrible at their jobs. Notably, this is the opposite way things are supposed to go. You try subtle first, when no one is expecting anything; if you screw that up and suddenly your target is wise to the fact that you're making an attempt on your life, then you ditch subtlety and go for whatever gets the job done. Anyways, you'd figure Fett - baddest bounty hunter in the galaxy and all - would be handling this case personally, given that an assassination contract on a galactic senator is kind of a high profile job. Instead, he sub-contracts to Zam, who sub-sub-contracts to her droid.

Meanwhile, on the other side, a sensible plan would have been to put Padme in a secret location under heavy guard; instead, she gets a couple of Jedi bodyguards and just continues to stay in her apartment with the large bay window. And when one of those bodyguards turns out to be a wangsty horndog, she makes the tremendously stupid move to turn off the security cameras (and, since the Jedi are apparently just as dumb as she is, they don't immediately knock on her door, tell her to turn the cameras back on and explain that it's for her own safety).

Anyways, the droid predictably arrives and easily gains access to Padme's bedroom. At this point it should have been game over, since a bomb or a blaster or even a simple knife could have sealed the deal at that point with the Jedi none the wiser. However, between two of the most feared hunters in the galaxy, Fett and Wessel managed to come up with the one assassination method that the Jedi can detect and thwart given its reliance on living creatures. The plot is foiled and Obi-Wan then makes the bizarre decision to leap onto a flying droid, rendering himself helpless and unable to reach his weapon in the process, without having any idea of whether the droid can support his weight or has any onboard weapons it could use to eliminate him. Fortunately, instead of dropping him, carrying him off into the night, or self-destructing, this top-secret killing droid obediently flies directly back to its owner. Anakin runs off in pursuit, despite the fact that he is now leaving Padme completely unguarded in the event the assassins have a Plan B (fortunately they don't, since they're just as bad at their jobs as he is).

A short while later, Obi-Wan and Anakin track Zam to a bar. Instead of using her shapeshifter abilities to get the fuck out of dodge (abilities that were brought up, then never actually utilized in a particularly sloppy moment of bad storytelling), Zam decides the smart thing to do is to try and ambush the Jedi, ignoring the fact that she had absolutely no reason to do so (they weren't her target and the fact they saw her didn't in any way incriminate her, since - again - she's a shapeshifter). The first cycle of idiocy is brought to a close when Fett intervenes to silence Zam and prevent her from talking, but instead of using a blaster or a rocket or any one of the weapons in his considerable arsenal to do the job, he uses the one weapon that can be traced back to his current base of operations, a planet he and his employer had spent considerable time and effort keeping hidden from the Jedi. He then lets the Jedi get a good look at his distinctive armour and then flies away and the Jedi are content to just watch him go (and the idea that he could use the opportunity to kill the unguarded Padme never occurs to any of the three of them).
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Kill 1 man: You are a murderer. Kill 10 men: You are a monster.
Kill 100 men: You are a hero. Kill 10,000 men, you are a conqueror!